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3 year old autism worried about future and lack of support

gld2301

I earlier walked out of a meeting with my sons nursery in tears and feeling completely overwhelmed. He turns 3 next week.

The nursery is struggling to manage him at the moment. They’re fighting to get 1-to-1 support for him, but the council keeps rejecting it, which is so frustrating. my son hits out a lot and has bad meltdowns where he can become a risk to the other children, throwing hitting etc and the staff are getting overwhelmed. Because the council keeps turning down the funding, I might even have to reduce his hours at nursery for now.

I think as he’s getting older, he’s struggling with his emotions even more. He seems to understand more of what’s going on around him, but because his communication is so difficult, it just leads to frustration. To give a bit more context on his speech: he isn't non-verbal, but he is non-conversational. He actually speaks a lot, but he doesn't have much understanding, which makes communicating really tough for him.

He’s due to start school next year, and the nursery is currently gathering all the info to start getting an EHCP in place for him. I am worrying so much about how he will manage at school.

He also had his first autism assessment on Monday.They said if there’s enough evidence right now, it will go straight to the panel. If not, they’ll come and observe him in nursery in 5 months' time and go to panel after that for a diagnosis. He also has a paediatrician appointment next month. It just feels like such a long, painful process.

ive been crying since back. Im really concerned about the future and him starting school. I wish I knew how to stop him hitting throwing especially others . He hits bites kicks me constantly at home.
I hate the thought of him being excluded at school if no one wants to go near him if hes hitting out and acting this way it breaks my heart.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation with council rejections for 1-to-1 funding? Or have any advice on navigating the EHCP and assessment process when you're feeling this stuck?

Any advice or words of encouragement would be much

Parents

  • Hi, sorry to hear you're struggling right now. It's a difficult age however it's the best time to help with speech. The better that becomes the less frustration further down the line. Use any interest/ what he likes to talk about and play verbal tennis eg. if he likes numbers you say 1 he says 2, you say 3 and so on. It may not seem like a conversation but when it doesn't come naturally it's a good start. Books with social stories also good at this age. Get nursery to keep a diary of meltdowns etc. see if there are particular triggers. I always found it really difficult unpicking all behaviour when not there and then different staff confuses it further. My sons nursery were really good and let me stay for 10 minutes to settle him and we used to stay in reception looking at books for a while after nursery just for a bit of calm before leaving which seemed to help. Sometimes though he ended coming home with me so every day different. You will find ways, everyone different so it difficult to advise. Don't feel like you have to conform to everything. I deferred entry for starting school as late as i could as didn't feel he was ready. Hope that helps some.

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  • Hi, sorry to hear you're struggling right now. It's a difficult age however it's the best time to help with speech. The better that becomes the less frustration further down the line. Use any interest/ what he likes to talk about and play verbal tennis eg. if he likes numbers you say 1 he says 2, you say 3 and so on. It may not seem like a conversation but when it doesn't come naturally it's a good start. Books with social stories also good at this age. Get nursery to keep a diary of meltdowns etc. see if there are particular triggers. I always found it really difficult unpicking all behaviour when not there and then different staff confuses it further. My sons nursery were really good and let me stay for 10 minutes to settle him and we used to stay in reception looking at books for a while after nursery just for a bit of calm before leaving which seemed to help. Sometimes though he ended coming home with me so every day different. You will find ways, everyone different so it difficult to advise. Don't feel like you have to conform to everything. I deferred entry for starting school as late as i could as didn't feel he was ready. Hope that helps some.

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