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3 year old autism worried about future and lack of support

gld2301

I earlier walked out of a meeting with my sons nursery in tears and feeling completely overwhelmed. He turns 3 next week.

The nursery is struggling to manage him at the moment. They’re fighting to get 1-to-1 support for him, but the council keeps rejecting it, which is so frustrating. my son hits out a lot and has bad meltdowns where he can become a risk to the other children, throwing hitting etc and the staff are getting overwhelmed. Because the council keeps turning down the funding, I might even have to reduce his hours at nursery for now.

I think as he’s getting older, he’s struggling with his emotions even more. He seems to understand more of what’s going on around him, but because his communication is so difficult, it just leads to frustration. To give a bit more context on his speech: he isn't non-verbal, but he is non-conversational. He actually speaks a lot, but he doesn't have much understanding, which makes communicating really tough for him.

He’s due to start school next year, and the nursery is currently gathering all the info to start getting an EHCP in place for him. I am worrying so much about how he will manage at school.

He also had his first autism assessment on Monday.They said if there’s enough evidence right now, it will go straight to the panel. If not, they’ll come and observe him in nursery in 5 months' time and go to panel after that for a diagnosis. He also has a paediatrician appointment next month. It just feels like such a long, painful process.

ive been crying since back. Im really concerned about the future and him starting school. I wish I knew how to stop him hitting throwing especially others . He hits bites kicks me constantly at home.
I hate the thought of him being excluded at school if no one wants to go near him if hes hitting out and acting this way it breaks my heart.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation with council rejections for 1-to-1 funding? Or have any advice on navigating the EHCP and assessment process when you're feeling this stuck?

Any advice or words of encouragement would be much

  • Hi gld2301,

    I am very sorry to hear about the struggles you are having with your son and I hope you can receive his diagnosis soon and can access the support you both need. 

    Whilst we wait for other community members to respond, I would like to direct you to the Parent to Parent Emotional Support Service. It provides emotional support to parents and carers regarding their autistic children/grown-up children. The service is provided by trained volunteers with personal experience as the parent of an autistic child or adult. Our focus is on emotional support and understanding what it is like for you as a parent. We offer empathy, understanding, and a safe space to talk through your feelings and experiences. To request a call, complete a web enquiry form here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/help-and-support/parent-to-parent-helpline 

    You may also find it helpful to visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school   

    If you require further support, you may like to contact the following regional organisations:  

    England  

    • Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions:  https://www.kids.org.uk/sendiass    
    • Independent Provider of Special Education Advice is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND: http://www.ipsea.org.uk/    
    • SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision: https://sossen.org.uk/services/helpline/ Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

    Wales  

     Scotland  

    • Enquire provide advice about additional support for learning for children attending school https://enquire.org.uk/     

     Northern Ireland  

    • The Children’s Law Centre provides a free legal advice service and legal representation for children and young people: https://childrenslawcentre.org.uk/  
    • The NI Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY) and their work is focused on making sure children and young people have access to their rights in their day-to-day lives, so they have the best opportunity to reach their full potential https://www.niccy.org/    

    I hope that you may find something useful here.

    Best wishes, 

    Alice Mod