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Calming/relaxing bedtime activities

ukasddad

5yo boy, ASD (PDA) and probable ADHD. We have issues transitioning from screen time to asleep (unsurprisingly). The PDA means that reducing the screen time is extremely challenging/counterproductive, and that a strict bedtime routine is also a bad idea.

Bedtimes/bedtime activities vary massively, often in long phases. We had a long period of bedtime stories, which worked well, but is rejected these days.

We had a long phase of him moving bedding around the room or even the house, and falling asleep in different places every night - but now fairly reliably falls asleep in bed.

We had a long phase of stickers - just moving them from the backing sheets to blank paper, and then filing the paper. Now no interest.

We have a Yoto for stories and quiet music, but limited success.

Can anyone think of anything new worth trying around that time that could improve things?

  • Some great advice already, thought I'd share our experiences in case it helps any.

    My girl (9) is tricky getting to bed on time, she has a routine but not good on following time so it can stretch.

    She prefers a bath in the evening, and I need to run it early enough to take into account how long it can take her to actually get in it (35 minutes today). She likes getting read to in the bath too, but this depends on how late it's got. 

    She will invariably declare she is hungry, so a quiet snack while more story read then. Then it's teeth (she's gone back to using the Pokémon smile app to help as she hates being told directly to brush her teeth but offering the app is less direct), and into bed but that's a whole other thing. (Further stories depend on how much she's had already and how late). She likes to sleep in a kids sleeping bag, plus blanket when cold, and has various things that have to be in with her. Before going to sleep, she has a sleepband with her choice of zen track (it hooks to my phone so I can set that up in a 1 hour timer from a music player), an eye mask and a little device called a calm carry, which gives little rhythmic buzzes for a short while which she holds to help her get to sleep. 

    It sounds hard if your son is potentially ADHD and getting bored, maybe if you have your bank of ideas, rotating round them every month might help it keep working?

    They can be so irritable when they don't get enough sleep, and I've tried a lot of things and currently this set up has been working well for a good 6 months for us! I hope you can find something that works!

  • My advice from the thread  said

    Welcome

    I've got a bedtime routine that helps me calm down and relax before sleep (maybe you could do something similar)?

    My routine consists of:

    1. Having a camomile tea at 7.30 
    2. 7.30-8 tidying things away (if I'm in the middle of something making sure it's not spread all over the place)
    3. Turning electronics off and making sure curtains are closed from 8pm 
    4. Lying down to go to sleep so 9.30pm

    The things I can do between 8 and 9.30 are ones that don't require much thinking and don't require screens e.g reading, word searches, diamond painting, colouring in, listening to classic FM

    I know everyone is different and your daughter might have other interests which might help calm her down. I find doing this helps me get a good night's sleep so I'm more able to get up when my alarm goes off (8am)

  • in reply to emanningis

    Thank you for saying you liked my advive

  • Hi there, and thanks for reaching out to the online community.  I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties your son is having with sleep at the moment - that must be exhausting for everyone!  I am sure our community members will have some great advice for you.

    In the meantime, you may like to have a look at the NAS information on Sleep for parents and carers, which might give you some ideas for things to try with your son.  As you mention PDA, you may also find our page on Demand avoidance helpful, as it includes some suggestions of support strategies.

    I do hope these resources are helpful to you, and we wish you and your son the best of luck going forward.

  • There was a recent thread, I especially liked the advice pinkchocoholic gave there:  How do you wake you your teenage girl in the mornings? 

    What about taking your son to a swimming pool, or even a hot tub help drain the energies?

    Sometimes just something similar at home may work, and in some cases there are very cheap Spas (I had access to one in a hotel, anytime including gym, for £ 40/month).

    Just my thoughts, I have no personal experience besides my own case.