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15 year old constant disruptive behaviour..

Ghostei

Hello Wave I’m new, first time I’ve ever joined anything like this.

my son is 15 & was diagnosed with ADHD, Autism and Learning Disabilities at 7, due to a micro deletion in chromosome 16. Since his diagnosis he was then placed into a special provision where he began to thrive which was fantastic! 

However since his younger siblings have gotten older (currently 5 & 8) life at home has become unbearable due to our eldest sons behaviour. 

He comes home from school and he’s rude, shouts, swears, calls his brother’s names, threatens them, is verbally and physically abusive towards them until they go to bed. An adult must remain in the room at all times to ensure the safety of the younger ones which is not practical or sustainable. 

We feel like we are at our wits end, we have reached out to so many people/departments and have got nowhere, it’s got to the point where my husband and I thinking about separating just so that we can keep the little ones safe and have somewhat of a break from the eldest. 

I know some of his behaviour could be impulse driven, he refuses to take his prescribed medication and he is generally well behaved at school. 

Thanks for your time, any advice appreciated Slight smile

Parents

  • Hey Ghostei, what you are going through sounds so tough. 

    I used to watch some videos by James Hunt when I was on FB, he has 2 severely autistic non-verbal boys, and I think (needs to be checked), that he and his wife separated, and decided to raise the boys separately, so the boys are alternatively at either parents. I just thought of it as a person that does something similar to what you are describing as your last ditch. It's awful there is no support for your current arrangement, I wonder if there is an in-between, like a house that has a more separate area for your older son so he doesn't see/interact with the younger ones at all? 

    Very hard situation, have you tried some sort of therapy for him, so he can see them as individuals and not just as targets to vent his frustrations on? Finding a healthy outlet would be a good outcome, but depends if you can get him to accept that he needs to change? If he won't listen to his parents (being a teenager generally), is there someone else who could explain to him that he can't treat them like that? 

    I don't think I've helped any, but I do feel for your situation.

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  • Hey Ghostei, what you are going through sounds so tough. 

    I used to watch some videos by James Hunt when I was on FB, he has 2 severely autistic non-verbal boys, and I think (needs to be checked), that he and his wife separated, and decided to raise the boys separately, so the boys are alternatively at either parents. I just thought of it as a person that does something similar to what you are describing as your last ditch. It's awful there is no support for your current arrangement, I wonder if there is an in-between, like a house that has a more separate area for your older son so he doesn't see/interact with the younger ones at all? 

    Very hard situation, have you tried some sort of therapy for him, so he can see them as individuals and not just as targets to vent his frustrations on? Finding a healthy outlet would be a good outcome, but depends if you can get him to accept that he needs to change? If he won't listen to his parents (being a teenager generally), is there someone else who could explain to him that he can't treat them like that? 

    I don't think I've helped any, but I do feel for your situation.

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