• Replies 9 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 4328 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

i find it hard to want to spend time with my son

vicki468

its tough to admit but i find my child emotionally draining an hard work after a few hrs i need space from him .he goes my mums every weekend as i need a break she is also now saying she finding him hard work . he is not naughty he is just constant talkin an fidgeting answering back everyone is wrong he knows everythin his way is right , he struggles with simple tasks each day like get dressd do your buttons he never remembers thats what we do eash day so constanlty have repeat everything each day nothin seems to go in his head he has dispraxia with aspergers tendancies he almost ten an its getting more noticable that he stands out more . i love him dearly my unique boy but i dont enjoy time with him all he wants is computers when i was in hospital with collapsed lung few years back all he wanted was computers an he said things like well if u would have died i can go on my computers when i want. ive tried lots of things to spend time with him but if its not computers he dont want know me

Parents

  • I'm a parent of an 11 year old boy with Aspergers and I can totally empathise. I use to feel so frustrated and rejected by my son not wishing to join in with shared activites/fun days out and his comments sometimes that made me feel he really didn't care. Oh and the fasination with technology! I think as a parent you picture in your mind a child that shows love in the traditional way and of sharing experiences like fun days out. It took me a long time and many upsetting times to finally realise its not personal nor intentional. I've had a steep learning curve since my son's diagnosis and forums such as this are a wealth of information especially from those who are on the spectrum. I think Outrage has explained it perfectly I couldn't put it better myself. But also as a parent I understand sometimes the seemingly one sided conversation/interest can get too much. I know with my own son my better understanding that his overwhelming focus on an interest is like a soother to him so particularly when change is happening I understand this is what he needs. When it gets too much I say we will talk about a particular thing at a particular time (find it important to say a time rather than later). If he continues I keep reminding him we will discuss it at the said time. As far as activities and other stuff I think as Outrage says its all about compromise. My son does the pop up thing (smiles). Get as much information and support as possible and with greater understanding of the world through your sons eyes comes easier and happier times. x

Reply

  • I'm a parent of an 11 year old boy with Aspergers and I can totally empathise. I use to feel so frustrated and rejected by my son not wishing to join in with shared activites/fun days out and his comments sometimes that made me feel he really didn't care. Oh and the fasination with technology! I think as a parent you picture in your mind a child that shows love in the traditional way and of sharing experiences like fun days out. It took me a long time and many upsetting times to finally realise its not personal nor intentional. I've had a steep learning curve since my son's diagnosis and forums such as this are a wealth of information especially from those who are on the spectrum. I think Outrage has explained it perfectly I couldn't put it better myself. But also as a parent I understand sometimes the seemingly one sided conversation/interest can get too much. I know with my own son my better understanding that his overwhelming focus on an interest is like a soother to him so particularly when change is happening I understand this is what he needs. When it gets too much I say we will talk about a particular thing at a particular time (find it important to say a time rather than later). If he continues I keep reminding him we will discuss it at the said time. As far as activities and other stuff I think as Outrage says its all about compromise. My son does the pop up thing (smiles). Get as much information and support as possible and with greater understanding of the world through your sons eyes comes easier and happier times. x

Children
No Data