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Please help

struggling mum

Im sorry to ask for your insights and help once again I just don't know what to do. My sons due to start secondary school next week - a big transition for him. To cut a long story short he gets transport as is outside the catchment area. This transport has been mostly ok until big disruption in June when they declared they'd only pick up/drop off at home address (8.30 & 3pm). Managed to get back to my sons normal routine of them dropping him at his childminder three days so didn't pursue further at that time. Now they are flat out refusing to continue this advising only the home address.

The reasons this is catastrophic is because as a single parent if I don't work I can't support us. His had enough to deal with without me being unable to support us. We'd lose our home and everything. Whats more he has an amazing relationship with his childminder and that would go too. I have begged and pleaded with the council and sent complaints to everyone I can think of but I'm running out of time. I can't send him to a different school because this is the only one that has a unit within the school that would fully support him without him feeling singled out. It feels the council are trying to force me out of work. Surely having a child with additional needs doesn't mean you can't work?

Please forgive me for saying but its been such a challenging year that I have seriously struggled to get through on more than one occassion. I feel so alone. This has been a massive blow and just one too many. If I can hold it together I will challenge them again tomorrow but feel I have no dignity left. Has anyone else had this problem and please help me reach a resolution. This as I say is a big transition for him and the last thing I wanted is the disruption this will cause if a resolution can't be reached tomorrow. 

Thanks in advance x

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Dear struggling mum,

    You are going through some desperate times, i read your post on self harm and i am really pleased that the system is coming through for you with positive results. It sounds as though the new school and everything are really helping your son. That must have been a terrible time to get through as i have seen too many suicides in my years.

    i'm sorry if anything in my posts seems confrontational or contrary. I don't mean to wind anyone up but sometimes i manage to say something without working out all the ways that my contribution could be interpreted and sometimes i don't work out what the full situation is behind the other person's questions.

    Desparate times can sometimes bring us to desparate behaviour. It sounds from your posts that you are having to fight with the council and everyone to make the right things happen for your son. The trouble with fighting is that it sometimes less effective than being calm and unreasonably reasonable. From your later post, where you explained more of the situation and how it came about, i was much more convinced that the council should bend to accomodate your needs. Do you think that you could try that approach with them rather than raising more complaints and writing to your mp etc? Can you put yourself in their shoes and imagine how the two approaches come across? If necessary, an appearance at the council office, where you try to really get your point across, could work much more effectively than a phone call or an email?

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Dear struggling mum,

    You are going through some desperate times, i read your post on self harm and i am really pleased that the system is coming through for you with positive results. It sounds as though the new school and everything are really helping your son. That must have been a terrible time to get through as i have seen too many suicides in my years.

    i'm sorry if anything in my posts seems confrontational or contrary. I don't mean to wind anyone up but sometimes i manage to say something without working out all the ways that my contribution could be interpreted and sometimes i don't work out what the full situation is behind the other person's questions.

    Desparate times can sometimes bring us to desparate behaviour. It sounds from your posts that you are having to fight with the council and everyone to make the right things happen for your son. The trouble with fighting is that it sometimes less effective than being calm and unreasonably reasonable. From your later post, where you explained more of the situation and how it came about, i was much more convinced that the council should bend to accomodate your needs. Do you think that you could try that approach with them rather than raising more complaints and writing to your mp etc? Can you put yourself in their shoes and imagine how the two approaches come across? If necessary, an appearance at the council office, where you try to really get your point across, could work much more effectively than a phone call or an email?

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