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wits end :/

purpletulip

Hi all!

I'm a total newbie here but I really feel the need to vent. I don't know what else to do :(

I am a lucky mummy to 2 children aged 6.5 and almost 4. The youngest, my son, is being assessed for ASD. He is a total nightmare. I don't even feel bad for saying that anymore. I've had enough of his behaviours and I'm not sure how much more I can take. Although I appreciate he can't help or control a lot of it.

He's had to leave one nursery setting for his naughty and disruptive behaviour and is due to start a new one next week...A change that I'm sure will be awful for him :( he's still in nappies, he eats or destroys everything. Bites, kicks and smacks anyone and everyone. None of the grandparents, friends or family members will look after him. Although happily offer to look after his sister. Which is heartbreaking. 

I have no friends...They all became ridiculously 'busy' as soon as play dates weren't going well and the problems began to show. I have a supportive husband but he doesn't seem to understand that the behaviour Isn't always on purpose and just wants to discipline everything. On the other hand he can't be seen to be getting away with 'playing up' all of the time as we have another child to consider. 

Our daughter, as we get towards the end of the summer hols has started attention seeking. She is purposely behaving in a way she knows she shouldn't...any attention is good in her eyes, even if she's getting told off. He takes up so much of my time and she's suffering :(

Tonight he pulled down his curtains, pulled the rail off the wall (fixings and all)...yesterday he ate a bin liner...The day before half a toy dinosaur. Leaving the house is a nightmare, staying in is a nightmare. I genuinely don't know how much more I can take :'(

Thank you if you're still reading!! I just needed to offload...

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    you are not alone, there are lots of people on the forum with experience from various sides of your problems.

    At the root of dealing with him is to have an understanding of the world from his point of view. You need to get your husband on your side and he has to understand that discipline(if that means punishment and reward) does not work with autistic kids. You have to be unreasonably calm, patient and consistent.

    play dates may well seem scary and alien to him so i would suggest not doing too much of this.

    Have you looked at the local groups that NAS helps organises? These can provide you with some friends who are in the same boat. They will give you support and introduce you to all of the things that can be done for you and your son.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    you are not alone, there are lots of people on the forum with experience from various sides of your problems.

    At the root of dealing with him is to have an understanding of the world from his point of view. You need to get your husband on your side and he has to understand that discipline(if that means punishment and reward) does not work with autistic kids. You have to be unreasonably calm, patient and consistent.

    play dates may well seem scary and alien to him so i would suggest not doing too much of this.

    Have you looked at the local groups that NAS helps organises? These can provide you with some friends who are in the same boat. They will give you support and introduce you to all of the things that can be done for you and your son.

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