discipline

Hotel california said:

Hi monkey

I'm a mum of two boys with aspergers.  Mine are somewhat older than yours so I hope my experience may help you.

Firstly I understand how exhausting parenting any child is and how much strength you need to parent a child with autism. 

There will be many people, teachers included who will criticise how you parent.  Family members can be the worst as punishing children is still considered the best way to deal with unruly behaviour.

I learnt very early on that the best way to parent was through positive parenting.  I went overboard with rewards and positive feedback.  I ignored bad behaviour in the hopes that it would eventually fizzle out, which it has.  Both boys rarely have meltdowns but when they do occur they recover quite quickly.

Your daughter may not recognize the distress of her brother and vice versa and this can be challenging to deal with.  

Distraction was always a favourite of mine.  Rotate toys so there is something novel to play with.  Maybe try to have set quality time with each child.  I was lucky as both boys liked the same thing so played fairly well together.

Being outdoors was a great way to relax and burn off energy.  If you have the space maybe a trampoline might help your son destress.  

don't take on the full responsibility of your children.  It is easy to suffer burnout, so spread the load.  

In my case it did get better.  You will face many challenges and coming on here to ask for help is commendable.

Keep strong and embrace your children's specialness.  Mine are a joy because they have made me a better person.

Enjoy them as they grow up really fast.

Finally see if there is a support group that you can join where you can meet other families.  It helps to socialize with others who understand and can offer support to you all.

Take care.

i totaly agree i had aspergers and adhd and i now wen there nioses i hate it im 26 and still have melt downs but i now when im starting to feel bad and i go in a room on my own and tht is wat i suggest leave him in a safe zone were he can calm own and then come to u if u are in his space tht could be making it worse without u meaning to best thing my foster mom learnt is plaing music in background belped me focus more on tht positive niose tht i could control and then not hearing others as much 4 is gd  age to use visual cards on how he feels so get him to chioce what face he feels happy sad etc then try and ask wat made him happy wad made him sad create a safe zone in the room and show him when he feals like its to much he can go in his safe zone put ear niose cancellors there his favourate toy and boot a bean bag to sit in and a sheet to make it private and enclosed i now he is 4 but as long as u explain in way he understand (throw books and videos) it help him and u 

Hotel california said:

Hi monkey

I'm a mum of two boys with aspergers.  Mine are somewhat older than yours so I hope my experience may help you.

Firstly I understand how exhausting parenting any child is and how much strength you need to parent a child with autism. 

There will be many people, teachers included who will criticise how you parent.  Family members can be the worst as punishing children is still considered the best way to deal with unruly behaviour.

I learnt very early on that the best way to parent was through positive parenting.  I went overboard with rewards and positive feedback.  I ignored bad behaviour in the hopes that it would eventually fizzle out, which it has.  Both boys rarely have meltdowns but when they do occur they recover quite quickly.

Your daughter may not recognize the distress of her brother and vice versa and this can be challenging to deal with.  

Distraction was always a favourite of mine.  Rotate toys so there is something novel to play with.  Maybe try to have set quality time with each child.  I was lucky as both boys liked the same thing so played fairly well together.

Being outdoors was a great way to relax and burn off energy.  If you have the space maybe a trampoline might help your son destress.  

don't take on the full responsibility of your children.  It is easy to suffer burnout, so spread the load.  

In my case it did get better.  You will face many challenges and coming on here to ask for help is commendable.

Keep strong and embrace your children's specialness.  Mine are a joy because they have made me a better person.

Enjoy them as they grow up really fast.

Finally see if there is a support group that you can join where you can meet other families.  It helps to socialize with others who understand and can offer support to you all.

Take care.

i totaly agree i had aspergers and adhd and i now wen there nioses i hate it im 26 and still have melt downs but i now when im starting to feel bad and i go in a room on my own and tht is wat i suggest leave him in a safe zone were he can calm own and then come to u if u are in his space tht could be making it worse without u meaning to best thing my foster mom learnt is plaing music in background belped me focus more on tht positive niose tht i could control and then not hearing others as much 4 is gd  age to use visual cards on how he feels so get him to chioce what face he feels happy sad etc then try and ask wat made him happy wad made him sad create a safe zone in the room and show him when he feals like its to much he can go in his safe zone put ear niose cancellors there his favourate toy and boot a bean bag to sit in and a sheet to make it private and enclosed i now he is 4 but as long as u explain in way he understand (throw books and videos) it help him and u