Published on 12, July, 2020
hi
does anyone know how to discipline a asd child? my 4 year old son is very hyperactive and quick to aggression. so as you can imagine he is very easily upset and quick to have a meltdown. i am trying to catch it before he has a meltdown but it can be so quick it can be impossible to stop. i know his triggers but can not always eliminate them for example like his little sister crying. i generally use timeout for any hitting but when he gets worked up i know he finds it hard to not hit. also if i did put him on timeout when having a meltdown it would just esculate the problem. at the moment when he has a meltdown i first do what i can to calm him down and feel better. but when he is then calm what do i do to then get him to realise that he can't hurt people? he is also so heavyhanded when playing and doesn't realise he is hurting other children. i don't know what to do. i don't want him to hurt people and lose friends as he is already saying to me he's noticed he's different to other people, losing friends would make it harder for him.
Hi monkey
I'm a mum of two boys with aspergers. Mine are somewhat older than yours so I hope my experience may help you.
Firstly I understand how exhausting parenting any child is and how much strength you need to parent a child with autism.
There will be many people, teachers included who will criticise how you parent. Family members can be the worst as punishing children is still considered the best way to deal with unruly behaviour.
I learnt very early on that the best way to parent was through positive parenting. I went overboard with rewards and positive feedback. I ignored bad behaviour in the hopes that it would eventually fizzle out, which it has. Both boys rarely have meltdowns but when they do occur they recover quite quickly.
Your daughter may not recognize the distress of her brother and vice versa and this can be challenging to deal with.
Distraction was always a favourite of mine. Rotate toys so there is something novel to play with. Maybe try to have set quality time with each child. I was lucky as both boys liked the same thing so played fairly well together.
Being outdoors was a great way to relax and burn off energy. If you have the space maybe a trampoline might help your son destress.
don't take on the full responsibility of your children. It is easy to suffer burnout, so spread the load.
In my case it did get better. You will face many challenges and coming on here to ask for help is commendable.
Keep strong and embrace your children's specialness. Mine are a joy because they have made me a better person.
Enjoy them as they grow up really fast.
Finally see if there is a support group that you can join where you can meet other families. It helps to socialize with others who understand and can offer support to you all.
Take care.