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Going on holiday or not?

NAS76258

Hi all. I am after some advice on this regarding a holiday this year. For the last 2 years my daughter has hated our family holidays. One causing shingles due to stress. She is 14 and struggles to leave the house, doesn’t attend school but has a home tutor. We work hard and feel we need a break, so our holiday each year is really important to us parents as it allows us to reset. It’s not a selfish thing, it’s just how we manage with our life. This yeaR my daughter is point blank refusing to come away with us. We holidayed last yr in the UK to reduce stress but she didn’t the room of the lodge. My question is, would you go away and leave her out of the family holiday? She naturally wouldn’t be leave alone, family members would come and stay, but the guilt I am feeling over this is pulling me in both directions. Has anyone gone away with their child due to their anxiety and continued to have a family holiday whilst one child is left behind? I’m don’t want judging I just want advice or personal experience from others whom may be in a similar situation Pray

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  • As Roy said she maybe quite happy to stay at home, I can't say I have any personal experience, but it sounds like you need a break, maybe think of it as respite care?

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Our life is very intense and holidays are also stressful with her but that our life and we manage but I guess the holiday would be like respite? So hard having atypical children as you are judged on everything you do but people don’t understand 

  • in reply to NAS76258

    I like this, I think this is a good angle too. I feel for your guilt (I'd feel guilty too), but if you look at it from outside: if a holiday makes you happy and not going makes your daughter happy, then doing what makes you all happy sounds like a good plan. You can see if she wants any extra treats staying at home, so it makes it a holiday at home for her (though she might just want her routine). If you have family members staying, it might be some good bonding time, or if she prefers her own company and is mature enough, the peace and quiet might also be a like a holiday when you are all away. Plus you'll be recharged from having time away.

    Guilt is natural and a sign you are a lovely caring parent. Sometimes, what can bring families closer together is having a break from each other too!

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  • in reply to NAS76258

    I like this, I think this is a good angle too. I feel for your guilt (I'd feel guilty too), but if you look at it from outside: if a holiday makes you happy and not going makes your daughter happy, then doing what makes you all happy sounds like a good plan. You can see if she wants any extra treats staying at home, so it makes it a holiday at home for her (though she might just want her routine). If you have family members staying, it might be some good bonding time, or if she prefers her own company and is mature enough, the peace and quiet might also be a like a holiday when you are all away. Plus you'll be recharged from having time away.

    Guilt is natural and a sign you are a lovely caring parent. Sometimes, what can bring families closer together is having a break from each other too!

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