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when to help in shut down or to leave for adult

topact1066

Hi, my partner is suffering through asd burnout ... to say it’s tough is a under statement

My questions 

is when she is having a shut down in her room and is nonverbal [ could be 1 hour could be all day!]

should i keep going up to check on her

Or by doing this am i messing up her ability to recover energy via the shutdown

Currently I check on her every  30 to 60 mins --- but is that good or bad help !!!!!! 

Parents

  • I really don't want to confuse and sound contradictory, but wanted to offer up an idea. I discovered recently that after I've had time to process, a firm hug helps a lot to bring me back. I think it's grounding and connects me to reality again. 

    Maybe at a time when she is feeling okay with herself, have a chat about what might help?  Working out what might help her and having a 'guide' for you might help in future. If it's difficult to talk about, you could make up a questionnaire she can fill out for you? Sometimes communicating indirectly is a lot less pressure and gives time to think about it.

    (I was debating posting, but Expecto_Patronum said similar so it might be okay)

Reply

  • I really don't want to confuse and sound contradictory, but wanted to offer up an idea. I discovered recently that after I've had time to process, a firm hug helps a lot to bring me back. I think it's grounding and connects me to reality again. 

    Maybe at a time when she is feeling okay with herself, have a chat about what might help?  Working out what might help her and having a 'guide' for you might help in future. If it's difficult to talk about, you could make up a questionnaire she can fill out for you? Sometimes communicating indirectly is a lot less pressure and gives time to think about it.

    (I was debating posting, but Expecto_Patronum said similar so it might be okay)

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