• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1543 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Possible addiction causing meltdown please help

struggling mum

Good evening all,

I genuinely hope your all well. I posted before re the rollercoaster ride with my 11 year old son diagnosed last january especially in relation to education and bullying issues. My overwhelming thanks for the replies, I didn't know what to say at the time but found it helpful to know my son and I aren't alone but so sad so many of you have suffered the same as my son.

New issue (or maybe not as links with effects of previous bullying) my son is becoming a recluse. General attitude is that if he's not playing his electronic games he doesn't want to know and gets very angry and frustrated. Tried hard to engage him in other activities giving him a whole range but met with flat refusal.

Its escalated tonight with a meltdown. Basic issue from his side is he wants me to let him play 18 games which I flat refuse. According to him ALL his friends are playing them. Now pretty normal mother son stuff but here's the concern. His confessed this is all he can think about at any time of the day and its even kept him up an entire night. I know from my side its all his talked about, got angry about for a long time now.  

Now I understand the technology is his comfort zone and make as much allowance as I can but feel he's becoming a recluse refusing to do anything else and this worries me. If this is the way it is at 11 what will become of him during his teenage years?

Here's the question - do I pull right back on all technology to lessen this grip on him or what I don't know. I know he suffers anxieties re socialising, trying new things etc but whats the best way forward re time on technology?

Any insights will be gratefully received.

Thank-you.

Parents

  • re-strugglingmum's posting. Explore other threads about this sort of thing, and ask more specific questions about safe activities. There is a lot of expertise on here encapsulated in the experience of thousands of parents.

    Acting and drama classes are potentially useful, but they are going to be outside his peer group (on one hand he cannot fit in, but he'll be made to feel more excluded by doing something they wouldn't do), which might have made him give up. The other thing is it depends on the drama group - was it too social based? A lot of this nowadays is based around social interaction on the assumption it appeals more to kids, but it wont work well for your son. There are drama groups aimed at helping people on the spectrum, but probably only close to London.

    I took art classes, which helped a lot - because they were low key on social interaction and allowed self-expression.

    Football, scouts, karate, boy's brigade - all socially intensive. His coordination may not be good. If you are being bullied changing rooms are no joke - they are out of sight of adult supervision for obvious reasons. I agree positive experience with peers could be beneficial; it could also be hell on earth trying to achieve it.

    Recombinantsocks gives a very positive image, and I would like to believe it is widely possible. It wasn't for me (back in the bad old days before there was a diagnosis, or treatment you'd want to get mixed up with).

    Although good academically I was never able to sustain it and regularly fell behind (I ended up with a PhD). I was collectively bullied from primary school right through to the end, for being "mental", "weird" etc. Eye hand coordination is grim, so tennis was tried but wouldn't work. I couldn't swim (multitasking breathing and strokes). I was useless on a horse - I couldn't get the hang of posting and pushed up when the horse went down (but then the stable instructors to be honest were useless). I tried to learn to ride a bike, coordination again. I explored far and wide on my own from about 9, which provided a basis for observational hobbies, but it was safer then I think, and it also tended to encourage social isolation.

    I agree though that directing his studies along a potential interest line will widen his comfort zone. As an adult I take on many specialisms by just learning into them, though there are still blanks where I cannot do. That gave me a career, but it didn't stop me being solitary,.

Reply

  • re-strugglingmum's posting. Explore other threads about this sort of thing, and ask more specific questions about safe activities. There is a lot of expertise on here encapsulated in the experience of thousands of parents.

    Acting and drama classes are potentially useful, but they are going to be outside his peer group (on one hand he cannot fit in, but he'll be made to feel more excluded by doing something they wouldn't do), which might have made him give up. The other thing is it depends on the drama group - was it too social based? A lot of this nowadays is based around social interaction on the assumption it appeals more to kids, but it wont work well for your son. There are drama groups aimed at helping people on the spectrum, but probably only close to London.

    I took art classes, which helped a lot - because they were low key on social interaction and allowed self-expression.

    Football, scouts, karate, boy's brigade - all socially intensive. His coordination may not be good. If you are being bullied changing rooms are no joke - they are out of sight of adult supervision for obvious reasons. I agree positive experience with peers could be beneficial; it could also be hell on earth trying to achieve it.

    Recombinantsocks gives a very positive image, and I would like to believe it is widely possible. It wasn't for me (back in the bad old days before there was a diagnosis, or treatment you'd want to get mixed up with).

    Although good academically I was never able to sustain it and regularly fell behind (I ended up with a PhD). I was collectively bullied from primary school right through to the end, for being "mental", "weird" etc. Eye hand coordination is grim, so tennis was tried but wouldn't work. I couldn't swim (multitasking breathing and strokes). I was useless on a horse - I couldn't get the hang of posting and pushed up when the horse went down (but then the stable instructors to be honest were useless). I tried to learn to ride a bike, coordination again. I explored far and wide on my own from about 9, which provided a basis for observational hobbies, but it was safer then I think, and it also tended to encourage social isolation.

    I agree though that directing his studies along a potential interest line will widen his comfort zone. As an adult I take on many specialisms by just learning into them, though there are still blanks where I cannot do. That gave me a career, but it didn't stop me being solitary,.

Children
No Data