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Possible addiction causing meltdown please help

struggling mum

Good evening all,

I genuinely hope your all well. I posted before re the rollercoaster ride with my 11 year old son diagnosed last january especially in relation to education and bullying issues. My overwhelming thanks for the replies, I didn't know what to say at the time but found it helpful to know my son and I aren't alone but so sad so many of you have suffered the same as my son.

New issue (or maybe not as links with effects of previous bullying) my son is becoming a recluse. General attitude is that if he's not playing his electronic games he doesn't want to know and gets very angry and frustrated. Tried hard to engage him in other activities giving him a whole range but met with flat refusal.

Its escalated tonight with a meltdown. Basic issue from his side is he wants me to let him play 18 games which I flat refuse. According to him ALL his friends are playing them. Now pretty normal mother son stuff but here's the concern. His confessed this is all he can think about at any time of the day and its even kept him up an entire night. I know from my side its all his talked about, got angry about for a long time now.  

Now I understand the technology is his comfort zone and make as much allowance as I can but feel he's becoming a recluse refusing to do anything else and this worries me. If this is the way it is at 11 what will become of him during his teenage years?

Here's the question - do I pull right back on all technology to lessen this grip on him or what I don't know. I know he suffers anxieties re socialising, trying new things etc but whats the best way forward re time on technology?

Any insights will be gratefully received.

Thank-you.

Parents

  • Thank-you longman for your response. What you say regarding the games offering safety and security in a harsh world makes total sense to me. I also can see his trying to fit in with his peers (joint interest in gaming) when he feels his the only one not playing certain ones.The problem is he does seem to only be interested in violent ones and wishes me to allow him to play adult ones which worries me as the impact these may have on his developing personality. My son has historically been a very popular child, and happiest when with others (a very humorous, loveable child) until this bullying started. We only see the child in question randomly now but whether thats due to police intervention or that he doesn't go out unless unavoidable I'm not sure but I do know its still prominent in his mind. I think he does very much use the games as an escape but now they have taken over to the point he no longer can think of anything else and I think is causing him alot of stress (lack of sleep, frustration etc).

    I think your point on considering whats offered as an alternative a very valid one and perhaps where I'm not delivering. Unfortunately thinking outside the box is not a strength of mine. I'd finally saved enough for him to go to acting/drama classes which he showed an interest in when younger but now doesn't want to know. Tried all the common suggestions football, scouts, karate, boys brigade, swimming, music etc but he has no interest. Computer clubs seem to have a minimum age of 14 from what I've found so far. I feel (and could be totally wrong here) that if he had some positive experiences with peers he would gained some confidence back. I just wish I could find what would engage him. I think I have some work to do in understanding what he would find safe and copable interests in conjunction with the technology.

    Much appreciated.

    Thank-you.

Reply

  • Thank-you longman for your response. What you say regarding the games offering safety and security in a harsh world makes total sense to me. I also can see his trying to fit in with his peers (joint interest in gaming) when he feels his the only one not playing certain ones.The problem is he does seem to only be interested in violent ones and wishes me to allow him to play adult ones which worries me as the impact these may have on his developing personality. My son has historically been a very popular child, and happiest when with others (a very humorous, loveable child) until this bullying started. We only see the child in question randomly now but whether thats due to police intervention or that he doesn't go out unless unavoidable I'm not sure but I do know its still prominent in his mind. I think he does very much use the games as an escape but now they have taken over to the point he no longer can think of anything else and I think is causing him alot of stress (lack of sleep, frustration etc).

    I think your point on considering whats offered as an alternative a very valid one and perhaps where I'm not delivering. Unfortunately thinking outside the box is not a strength of mine. I'd finally saved enough for him to go to acting/drama classes which he showed an interest in when younger but now doesn't want to know. Tried all the common suggestions football, scouts, karate, boys brigade, swimming, music etc but he has no interest. Computer clubs seem to have a minimum age of 14 from what I've found so far. I feel (and could be totally wrong here) that if he had some positive experiences with peers he would gained some confidence back. I just wish I could find what would engage him. I think I have some work to do in understanding what he would find safe and copable interests in conjunction with the technology.

    Much appreciated.

    Thank-you.

Children
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