Getting a child to engage with help for repetitive behaviours

When you describe this behaviour what is it that you mean when you say that you can’t get into a room because she is tapping the handle? (I’m imaging she’s standing on the other side of the door just tapping with her finger like a drumming sound- but maybe I’m getting the interpretation wrong as that wouldn’t keep you out of a room) 

I think I’m super lucky as a child I had fantastic parents who thought I was entertaining rather than a mental health problem…. The only problem I remember my mum reporting to me is that I used to scrape the soap all over the bathroom habitually - nobody reported me to mental health they just thought I was interesting. I did learn growing up not to do this any more but was supported  in a positive way that I felt confident to achieve my dreams in the future. It’s difficult because if you start labelling someone then they will likely fall into becoming a self fulfilling prophecy rather than a person who can achieve things despite being interesting… you can unfortunately create negative cycles. So I guess it depends how severe the behaviour is.

i would say be patient she sounds like you love her very much but have to stand idly waiting for her. I don’t know how to offer any way to change this behaviour …. Maybe It is something she will grow out of in the next year…. Maybe distract her by changing the routine over the way you all live and move out of rooms as a group with something new…. Give her a challenge and send her to bed / the kitchen etc without you and say can you get us this or that and then follow her up later on / 5 minutes later whilst giving her first the time for independence and time also maybe to see if she breaks the habit after a while 

sometimes I just wonder how different behaviour is at times with something like (tapping 3 times - not specific, it’s a general thought I’ve had about a few things)  to somebody who for example is chain smoking / or even regular smoking …. Most people would dismiss the chain smoking as average behaviour when actually there’s probably a lot of psychological problems attached to it - yet it’s a massively wide spread problem 

Thanks Intertrails - the tapping thing is quite a small part of it really. It was just an example (tapping on a door X number of time before going in, going in and then tapping on the other side X number of times as well). She has a lot of little rituals that she seems to be compelled to do, even when it's causing her distress. Notifications on her phone are a real issue at the moment, especially if her group chat with her friends is messaging while she's trying to clear them. It really matters to her, and if she's trying to get herself to bed for a certain time (because that's important to her too) and clearing her notifications is taking too long, she ends up massively overwhelmed and yelling, swearing, throwing her phone. Again, that's just an example. It's been developing for about a year and it's kind of taking over everything. In the morning to get ready for school everything has to be exactly right and happen at the right time, and it gets more and more complicated. It's exhausting for all of us, since it has to start at 5:55am.

Thanks Intertrails - the tapping thing is quite a small part of it really. It was just an example (tapping on a door X number of time before going in, going in and then tapping on the other side X number of times as well). She has a lot of little rituals that she seems to be compelled to do, even when it's causing her distress. Notifications on her phone are a real issue at the moment, especially if her group chat with her friends is messaging while she's trying to clear them. It really matters to her, and if she's trying to get herself to bed for a certain time (because that's important to her too) and clearing her notifications is taking too long, she ends up massively overwhelmed and yelling, swearing, throwing her phone. Again, that's just an example. It's been developing for about a year and it's kind of taking over everything. In the morning to get ready for school everything has to be exactly right and happen at the right time, and it gets more and more complicated. It's exhausting for all of us, since it has to start at 5:55am.