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Skin picking and Stimming

Newbie

Hi everyone, 

I'm new to all this and trying to offer my child support in navigating their journey. They are under 10 years old and have started self picking, they would normally chew their T-shirt to stim but now also pick. I think it might be happening when they are going to bed and have no stimulation, but that's only a theory as they don't pick when we are together. Does anyone have any tips for stimming and bed time?

Has anyone had much success in supporting them to do something different instead of picking? 

If anyone is a skin picker or would like to share what they get from stimming I would greatly appreciate it. I've read some fantastic information and increasing my understanding on what people get from stimming and self picking will hopefully help me support my child in finding another option/outlet instead of skin picking.

Thank you.

Parents

  • Hi Newbie

    I have found that being physically worn out ( though not to the point of extreme exhaustion) by being outdoors in nature lessens my need to stim in this way. When im anxious about decision making that are somewhat emotional in nature eg navigating challenges in intimate relationships is a trigger for me for picking at myself - tied in with rumination too. Journalling or talking with a trusted other while doing another activity like going for a walk or baking can ease it. As a child i was often made to feel ashamed for using silky or cotton fabric to run under my nails in a way thats hard to describe though very soothing for me. One partner found it weird and so i hid it and tried to stop and that was difficult.  I'm embracing it again now when needed - i always did this very discreetly as an adult and would feel uncomfortable about it because of hurtful comments in the past. However - its a much healthier stim for me  than skin picking and actually using fabric to stim with in this way is relatively non-intrusive for others too. As a child I carried a small square of fabric ( like a handkerchief ) around with me that would wear out eventually from all its use! It helped that my Grandmother gave it to me as we were close - i wonder now if she may have understood me because of how she was too. Now i know these behaviours are just me trying to self soothe as stimming i feel kinder to myself about it and strangely i think this attitude makes me stim a little less too.

Reply

  • Hi Newbie

    I have found that being physically worn out ( though not to the point of extreme exhaustion) by being outdoors in nature lessens my need to stim in this way. When im anxious about decision making that are somewhat emotional in nature eg navigating challenges in intimate relationships is a trigger for me for picking at myself - tied in with rumination too. Journalling or talking with a trusted other while doing another activity like going for a walk or baking can ease it. As a child i was often made to feel ashamed for using silky or cotton fabric to run under my nails in a way thats hard to describe though very soothing for me. One partner found it weird and so i hid it and tried to stop and that was difficult.  I'm embracing it again now when needed - i always did this very discreetly as an adult and would feel uncomfortable about it because of hurtful comments in the past. However - its a much healthier stim for me  than skin picking and actually using fabric to stim with in this way is relatively non-intrusive for others too. As a child I carried a small square of fabric ( like a handkerchief ) around with me that would wear out eventually from all its use! It helped that my Grandmother gave it to me as we were close - i wonder now if she may have understood me because of how she was too. Now i know these behaviours are just me trying to self soothe as stimming i feel kinder to myself about it and strangely i think this attitude makes me stim a little less too.

Children
  • in reply to JennyB

    Thank you JennyB. It makes perfect sense, being kinder and more understanding of our selves can have really great benefits. But I also appreciate that it can also be a really hard thing to do, when other people may not show empathy or have understanding of the way we are. An action to sooth or to help ourselves makes perfect sense, the issue is that some people may lack the understanding of our actions, but that is their problem not ours. If they lack willingness to understand or empathise with our behaviours then does their option deserve merit, easier said than done as judgement can be hurtful. In a world where we feel pressure to fit in, I've found the "right" people accept us and love us for who we are and unfortunately sometimes that might not be the ones closet to us.

    It sounds really special the handkerchief from your grandmother, I'm glad you had that.

    I will also look at different textures for him to "play with". I remember the comfort I got from rubbing together the label in my t-shirt.

    It really is a joy to learn more and the comfort it brings to your lifes, to try and stop the behaviour does not result in it just "going away", instead it seems bottling it up comes at detriment to yourselves.