Skin picking and Stimming

Hi, I skin pick as well- for some reason I find it very satisfying and it helps me relax and destress and is quite absorbing. I do it more when I am stressed. I’ve skin picked for years but I didn’t realise it was related to being autistic until recently as I am late diagnosed. My mum really hated when I did it, especially when I picked at my face, and as a child and teenager that sometimes made me try to stop/reduce it but it never quite worked. I have more of an urge to do it when I am stressed as it somehow helps relieve some tension. It’s not ideal but it’s not too destructive and it does come and go in phases so I am not actively trying to stop myself at the moment but just generally try to prioritise my wellbeing and reduce stress. There have been months or even years where I barely did it, but recently everything is very stressful and I’ve been doing it again more- maybe I should try to stop but I have much more pressing health issues (burnout leading to physical health problems etc) and I think the skin picking is the least of my worries and it will probably fix itself when other things in my life improve. I never tried actively replacing it with another stim, but that does sound like something worth trying- I only recently realised that it is in fact a stim which is why this never really occurred to me. I had other stims growing up that weren’t great to do in public (like this rocking thing I did on a chair- it’s hard to describe it exactly but we even gave it a name ‘jubbelen’ in my native language) and that could also cause some issues (like muscles tensing up or becoming sore) if I did them too much- they did really help me focus and relax though but I could overdo it and I somehow learnt to restrict them but again I had no clue they were stims and nor did my family. Stims can have a very positive impact so I think it would be really great to have ones that don’t have negative effects on health and it is great you are exploring this with your child. I think you can’t force stopping these stims though but it might be an idea to try out others- stims can be anything- even making sounds (I used to like going ‘brrrrr’ in a bright way a bit like an alarm clock- my mum did that one too for a while and we did it to release tension but also to express joy and anticipation) , stims don’t have to be physical. I think I used different stims in different circumstances so I don’t think all stims perform the same function so it might take a while to find one that can have a similar effect to the skin picking. I have no idea if any  of this is helpful as I’m still picking away and I’m 28 now

Thanks Ann, it is incredibly helpful! 

To be able to hear from people with lived experience and what it means to them, can offer me a slight bit of insight in supporting my child better, which means the world to me. 

I have a sadness for people who suffer negatively for stimming, due to a lack of understanding or judgement. If this behaviour is helpful and not harming anyone, then surely that sounds like a good thing! We are all wonderfully different, life would be incredibly boring if we was all the same! 

I feel I will try a scatter gun approach. Different fidgets, giving him things to occupy his mind in quieter times and expending his energy. And also just checking in with what he will find relaxing. 

Thanks again  

Thanks Ann, it is incredibly helpful! 

To be able to hear from people with lived experience and what it means to them, can offer me a slight bit of insight in supporting my child better, which means the world to me. 

I have a sadness for people who suffer negatively for stimming, due to a lack of understanding or judgement. If this behaviour is helpful and not harming anyone, then surely that sounds like a good thing! We are all wonderfully different, life would be incredibly boring if we was all the same! 

I feel I will try a scatter gun approach. Different fidgets, giving him things to occupy his mind in quieter times and expending his energy. And also just checking in with what he will find relaxing. 

Thanks again