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starting school

poppet*

Hi folks,

            Im new to this so here goes. My daughter is 5 and has had her diagnosis of ASD for about 7 months after 2yrs of assesments. She is a very bright and talkative child with no separation issues, she is quite a handfull though and some of her behaviours can be challenging.

She has just started primary 1 a little over a week ago and really enjoys being a "schoolgirl" as she calls it , however myself and my partner are a bit unhappy. We feel the school are really treating her like an outcast, they have her finishing an hour and a half before everyone else which was fine for the first few days but we feel she is ready to stay at least another hour. She is now begining to notice that everyone else stays and she has to go home today when her dad picked her up the other kids were having break and they were all shouting and waving to her through the gate and the look on her wee face broke his heart.

Everytime we try to speak to someone about her progress in class we get stonewalled, she has a support teacher in class with her and her response when questioned is " I couldn't say, you need to talk to the class teacher" (she may as well say "no comment") however we cant get to see the class teacher because she is still in class with the other kids when we pick our daughter up . We have also tried to make an appointment for a meeting at reception but no-one ever gets back to us.

We feel she is missing out on socialising with the other children in her class. We dont want her to lose all the friends we have fought so hard for her to make and keep throughout nursery.

She WANTS to be at school and she is very capable, we have been told that some of the work she has completed is of a higher standard than that of her peer group, so we dont understand why they wont give her a chance . We know it's still early days but we feel that this is a very important time in her development. We would be very pleased to hear any advice anyone has to offer.

Thanks so much if anyone read this right to the end, i know that it's quite long lol

Parents

  • Hi Poppet

    Life at school can be a whole new ball game.  We have been at a school that was very communicative, empathetic and progressive and latterly, the opposite although I have to say I am optimistic this year will improve with a better teacher.

    I agree with tadie123, email works wonders for me and definetely try to have the Support Assistant present at meetings, if possible.  It is really hard to get hold of teachers most of the time and an email to the secretary asking her to pass it on gets the lines of communication open, you have a record of it and you can take your time in deciding how you are going to put the message across.  I quite often type a really passionate, angry email then go back and take all the emotion out that is not going to help us move on.  But boy it felt great typing it first time round anyhow!! Lol.

    A lot of people use a communication diary to pass messages between the teacher and yourselves - you may do this already but perhaps they are not responding.

    You should be getting the opportunity to meet the class teacher at least once a term for a meeting to go through what is working and what is not.  The earlier you get the date booked in the better as they are not always available and do have a lot of demands on their time and are generally stretched, but your daughter is a priority.  School should be contacting you, but this varies in the ability of the school staff and I have to lead all organistation of meetings where we are or we would be waiting another 3 months for it to happen.  You could also ask for a meeting with the Learning Support Teacher as they will be managing the Support Assistant (assuming you are in Scotland) and they will be a key contact for you as she moves through the school.

    It is very early days and a very stressful time for you all, but start as you mean to go on and you will get there.  Show the school respect and praise them for what is going well, but make your point clearly what needs to be addressed and why and indicate what you want to happen next i.e. Can you please call me today/by the end of the week etc.  Email is very effective as you are not holding anyone up that is busy in the middle of something and if they do not respond, you can forward the original email querying, "wondered if you can let me know when you will be able to come back to me on my earlier email?" etc. 

    Regular communication is essential as your daughters needs and support will evolve as time goes on.

    Take or leave my thoughts as your situation will be different to ours but hopefully there is something in my post that might help you get things moving to where you want them to be. 

    Good luck and let us know how you get on

Reply

  • Hi Poppet

    Life at school can be a whole new ball game.  We have been at a school that was very communicative, empathetic and progressive and latterly, the opposite although I have to say I am optimistic this year will improve with a better teacher.

    I agree with tadie123, email works wonders for me and definetely try to have the Support Assistant present at meetings, if possible.  It is really hard to get hold of teachers most of the time and an email to the secretary asking her to pass it on gets the lines of communication open, you have a record of it and you can take your time in deciding how you are going to put the message across.  I quite often type a really passionate, angry email then go back and take all the emotion out that is not going to help us move on.  But boy it felt great typing it first time round anyhow!! Lol.

    A lot of people use a communication diary to pass messages between the teacher and yourselves - you may do this already but perhaps they are not responding.

    You should be getting the opportunity to meet the class teacher at least once a term for a meeting to go through what is working and what is not.  The earlier you get the date booked in the better as they are not always available and do have a lot of demands on their time and are generally stretched, but your daughter is a priority.  School should be contacting you, but this varies in the ability of the school staff and I have to lead all organistation of meetings where we are or we would be waiting another 3 months for it to happen.  You could also ask for a meeting with the Learning Support Teacher as they will be managing the Support Assistant (assuming you are in Scotland) and they will be a key contact for you as she moves through the school.

    It is very early days and a very stressful time for you all, but start as you mean to go on and you will get there.  Show the school respect and praise them for what is going well, but make your point clearly what needs to be addressed and why and indicate what you want to happen next i.e. Can you please call me today/by the end of the week etc.  Email is very effective as you are not holding anyone up that is busy in the middle of something and if they do not respond, you can forward the original email querying, "wondered if you can let me know when you will be able to come back to me on my earlier email?" etc. 

    Regular communication is essential as your daughters needs and support will evolve as time goes on.

    Take or leave my thoughts as your situation will be different to ours but hopefully there is something in my post that might help you get things moving to where you want them to be. 

    Good luck and let us know how you get on

Children
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