13 year old - low mood and losing weight rapidly

My daughter (13) is diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, she has always been a quiet, solitary child but was generally comfortable at home as long as we gave her space and let her come to us. Recently she has become severely withdrawn, deleting WhatsApp so she doesn't have to communicate with friends from school (there hasn't been a fall out or bullying ive checked, her friends are as confused by this as we are) she just lays in her bed all day and only really talks in as short sentences as possible and honestly usually quite rudely. She has also lost a significant amount of weight in the last 3-4 months. She was never a big girl, a women's size 10, but she has started exercising every day, and gets quite upset if we have plans that prevent her exercising. She won't go to bed until she's done her workout video no matter how late it is. I have had to buy her new clothes this week because all of hers are hanging off her, she's gone down at least one dress size as well as a cup size in her bra's. She eats breakfast and a small dinner with us but ive been checking her school account and she seems to only be buying drinks and fruit pots. She claims that she's sharing meals with friends but I don't believe her if I'm honest. If my calculations are right she's eating about 800-1000 calories a day which is way below what she should be eating, however she's not hiding food, or being secretive in other ways so I don't know if were looking at a potential eating disorder or normal teenage girl body issues. 

Im very concerned about her at the moment between the eating and the low mood, her anxiety is high and she has begun wetting the bed again. The school is aware but is, in all honesty, a bit useless. Just doing surface level interventions that in reality help nobody.

Im waiting for a CAMHS appointment but I just wondered if anyone had any advise on getting her help or how best to support her, I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing and making everything worse. 

Parents
  • Dear Keelz,

    I am sorry to hear about your daughters current struggles .I understand your concerns and you have done the right thing in reaching out for support. I hope our online community provides a safe space for you to share concerns and hopefully get some good advice. 

    It does sound worrying that your daughter is exercising daily and is limiting calories. As you mentioned that you have been concerned about eating disorders I have linked information to The UK's Eating Disorder Charity - Beat  as well as Eating disorders - I would also recommend talking to your daughters GP or health professionals involved.

    In terms of how you could support your daughter with her mental health I have included some of the NAS guidance on Anxiety  and Depression they have some helpful tips on managing this that I have included below:

    Understand the triggers

    Keep a diary to help identify when you are anxious, and what might make it worse.  

    Monitor and manage your energy levels

    Be aware of your energy levels after social interactions and other events/situations that you may find tiring or difficult.  Recharge by taking time for yourself and doing things you enjoy. 

    Make the environment work 

    Make adaptations to the environment where possible, for example lower unnatural light if too harsh. 
    Try noise-cancelling headphones to reduce sensory overload.  

    Self-soothe

    Use sensory tools and stimming to reduce anxiety levels, if that works for you.

    Relaxation and calming activities

    Try relaxation methods such as meditation, mindfulness, yoga and exercise.  

    Visual schedules

    Visual schedules to help structure the day and reduce uncertainty within your day.

    Use an app

    The following app offers personalised support with anxiety.

    Molehill Mountain – includes: 

    • a system for tracking mood and identifying triggers
    • evidence-based tips on how to self-manage anxiety levels.

    YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds - this website has some really helpful information that both you and your daughter could take a look at. I have included a link that takes you straight to their information on How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Health | YoungMinds and Getting support from mental health services | YoungMinds

    Please reach out if you need any further support.

    Warmest wishes,

    Olivia Mod

Reply
  • Dear Keelz,

    I am sorry to hear about your daughters current struggles .I understand your concerns and you have done the right thing in reaching out for support. I hope our online community provides a safe space for you to share concerns and hopefully get some good advice. 

    It does sound worrying that your daughter is exercising daily and is limiting calories. As you mentioned that you have been concerned about eating disorders I have linked information to The UK's Eating Disorder Charity - Beat  as well as Eating disorders - I would also recommend talking to your daughters GP or health professionals involved.

    In terms of how you could support your daughter with her mental health I have included some of the NAS guidance on Anxiety  and Depression they have some helpful tips on managing this that I have included below:

    Understand the triggers

    Keep a diary to help identify when you are anxious, and what might make it worse.  

    Monitor and manage your energy levels

    Be aware of your energy levels after social interactions and other events/situations that you may find tiring or difficult.  Recharge by taking time for yourself and doing things you enjoy. 

    Make the environment work 

    Make adaptations to the environment where possible, for example lower unnatural light if too harsh. 
    Try noise-cancelling headphones to reduce sensory overload.  

    Self-soothe

    Use sensory tools and stimming to reduce anxiety levels, if that works for you.

    Relaxation and calming activities

    Try relaxation methods such as meditation, mindfulness, yoga and exercise.  

    Visual schedules

    Visual schedules to help structure the day and reduce uncertainty within your day.

    Use an app

    The following app offers personalised support with anxiety.

    Molehill Mountain – includes: 

    • a system for tracking mood and identifying triggers
    • evidence-based tips on how to self-manage anxiety levels.

    YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People | YoungMinds - this website has some really helpful information that both you and your daughter could take a look at. I have included a link that takes you straight to their information on How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Health | YoungMinds and Getting support from mental health services | YoungMinds

    Please reach out if you need any further support.

    Warmest wishes,

    Olivia Mod

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