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Aggressive meltdowns and parental burnout

Kathd

I have just recently spent 10 days in hospital with my 19 year old autistic daughter because of severe aggressive meltdowns. This behaviour started 6 weeks ago out of the blue and escalated to the point of having to call an ambulance as I couldn't control her.

I miss my happy loving daughter and feel sick with fear that I have failed her. The hospital stay was very hard but coming back home she had a meltdown adjusting back to home life. I have always been the one that she came to for comfort and I could always help her when she was younger when melting down. But two days after being home from the hospital she said she didnt want to be here and wanted to go to her dads. It's a complex situation as we have been divorced since she was 18 months old and his work isn't flexible, yet I couldn't get her to calm down and had to ask him to take time off as I am suffering burnout from the 10 day hospital stay with her.

I just want to feel hope that my daughter and I can get through this.

Parents

  • Dear Kathd,

    Well done for reaching out to our online community, it sounds like you and your daughter are going through a lot. I hope our online community can help with some support for you.

    You did the right thing in calling an ambulance when you couldn't control her meltdown but I imagine that must of been a very difficult thing to do and I hope you have some support in place to support you and your family. It is common for parents to have feelings of guilt or anxiety over their children's health and needs, but please know you are doing all the right things. 

    I have linked the NAS guidance on Meltdowns and Distressed behaviour - you might already know some of their content but it can be helpful to find additional strategies on these pages. 

    The NAS also run a Parent to Parent Emotional Support Helpline - they can help offer some emotional support to you during this challenging time. 

    It may also be worth having a chat with the GP or anyone from your daughters health team as they may have some more specialist support they can offer. 

    Best wishes,

    Olivia Mod

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  • Dear Kathd,

    Well done for reaching out to our online community, it sounds like you and your daughter are going through a lot. I hope our online community can help with some support for you.

    You did the right thing in calling an ambulance when you couldn't control her meltdown but I imagine that must of been a very difficult thing to do and I hope you have some support in place to support you and your family. It is common for parents to have feelings of guilt or anxiety over their children's health and needs, but please know you are doing all the right things. 

    I have linked the NAS guidance on Meltdowns and Distressed behaviour - you might already know some of their content but it can be helpful to find additional strategies on these pages. 

    The NAS also run a Parent to Parent Emotional Support Helpline - they can help offer some emotional support to you during this challenging time. 

    It may also be worth having a chat with the GP or anyone from your daughters health team as they may have some more specialist support they can offer. 

    Best wishes,

    Olivia Mod

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