Autism & Adhd . 16. Vaping . Weed. Behaviour ! Consequences

Son is 16 diagnosed with autism and adhd ( medicated for this )

mental health not great after split with long term partner .

seems to be mixing with the wrong crowd

vaping on and off for a year now . 
have just found out that he’s tried an illegal vape which a “ friend “ had which contained weed … twice .

always gives into peer pressure . Doesn’t wanna be different . Wants to fit in. Desperate to make friends ( doesn’t really have many )

should know right from wrong … 

anyways- how do you apply a consequence for such things ??

equally- behaviour hasn’t been great for some time. Irritable, snappy , blames me and dad for everything. Has never reacted well to being told no or not being able to do something . Then is very verbally aggressive and controlling . 

Has an I can do what I please attitude I’m 16 and earn my own money . 

just appears very disrespectful and rude a lot of the time .

things like even if he calls down the stairs and I don’t hear or don’t reply quick enough “ fu@@ you then you *** “ etc 

calls me all sorts ! 

feeling very depressed . We’ve always had a very close relationship but just lately he’s been hiding a lot ie the vapes , beers . 

Parents
  • We’ve always had a very close relationship

    .....then "all is well".....its just 'a-fair-bit-challenging' at the moment perhaps....simply due to your off-spring's stage of life.  Breathe deep.....and don't "blow it"......things ALWAYS change.  Trust what you KNOW, rather than you you currently experience and see.  Don't be afraid to "push-back" a bit.....disrespect should never go unchallenged, in my opinion, but that doesn't mean that "war&ultimatums" are in order.  Demonstrate the power of knowledge, trust, fortitude and "knowing"......as they stay= "mama knows best, but she can feel stressed, nonetheless."

Reply
  • We’ve always had a very close relationship

    .....then "all is well".....its just 'a-fair-bit-challenging' at the moment perhaps....simply due to your off-spring's stage of life.  Breathe deep.....and don't "blow it"......things ALWAYS change.  Trust what you KNOW, rather than you you currently experience and see.  Don't be afraid to "push-back" a bit.....disrespect should never go unchallenged, in my opinion, but that doesn't mean that "war&ultimatums" are in order.  Demonstrate the power of knowledge, trust, fortitude and "knowing"......as they stay= "mama knows best, but she can feel stressed, nonetheless."

Children
No Data