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Autism & Adhd . 16. Vaping . Weed. Behaviour ! Consequences

Stressedmama

Son is 16 diagnosed with autism and adhd ( medicated for this )

mental health not great after split with long term partner .

seems to be mixing with the wrong crowd

vaping on and off for a year now . 
have just found out that he’s tried an illegal vape which a “ friend “ had which contained weed … twice .

always gives into peer pressure . Doesn’t wanna be different . Wants to fit in. Desperate to make friends ( doesn’t really have many )

should know right from wrong … 

anyways- how do you apply a consequence for such things ??

equally- behaviour hasn’t been great for some time. Irritable, snappy , blames me and dad for everything. Has never reacted well to being told no or not being able to do something . Then is very verbally aggressive and controlling . 

Has an I can do what I please attitude I’m 16 and earn my own money . 

just appears very disrespectful and rude a lot of the time .

things like even if he calls down the stairs and I don’t hear or don’t reply quick enough “ fu@@ you then you *** “ etc 

calls me all sorts ! 

feeling very depressed . We’ve always had a very close relationship but just lately he’s been hiding a lot ie the vapes , beers . 

Parents

  • You have my sympathies  .

    Your description of your son sounds very much like I was at that age, and also very much like my son was at that age, and seems like perfectly normal teenage behaviour.

    Although my parents were frequently tearing my hair out during my teenage years, they later joked that if I wasn't storming out of the room after yelling at them and saying they were terrible parents, etc, then I was muttering a string of expletives, or responding to questions with grunts.

    I can only speak for myself, but at the age of 16, I thought I knew it all and considered myself to be far more grown up than I actually was. I could be infuriatingly stubborn and defiant, and if my parents told me to do something (or not do something), then I would dig my heels in and want to do the opposite.

    It wasn't until I became a parent and to contend with the teenage years that I was able to understand the Hell I'd put my parents through. They had warned me that it would come back to haunt me one day, and they weren't kidding.

    With the exception of the teenage years, I've always had a close relationship with my son, so have faith that the close bond you had with your son will return.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    How old were you when you perhaps turned a corner ? 

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