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Mental health of 20 year old diagnosed daughter

Sandyman22lemon

My daughter was diagnosed as autistic in 2017.  She has has many struggles with OCD,(counting) and germ phobia.  School was very difficult, Covid even more so.  College was better but school had left many scars.  She has had endless psychology sessions.  She completed her first year at Uni but by the end her mental health took a dive.  We got her to the GP she is on meds but still not much improvement.  She now sees a hypnotherapist which was showing promising signs however she is really struggling with Uni only 1 week in to second year. Her hypnotherapist has suggested she is assessed for ADHD.  I am at a loss as to where to turn next, do we take to GP - worry is they will just prescribe anti-depressants or refer for further psychiatric assessment, LONG waiting lists!  My husband and I both agree if she needs ADHD assessment we will go private, once again.  Our concern is being taken down another expensive path not knowing if it is the action actually needed.  Any advice?

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  • Hi, I’m autistic and I’m 28 now but I can relate to your daughter’s experience. I went to university and I am currently doing a PhD but I have been struggling with my health and with chronic burnout. I intermitted during my bachelor actually as my health suffered but unfortunately at the time I didn’t know that I was autistic and I didn’t receive the right support and I just pushed through for years. I of course can’t know what is going on for your daughter but I do know that there are many aspects of life and uni life that can be stress factors and exhausting. I think the most important thing is to figure out what recharges you and what activities and things are stress factors and drain you. It’s not easy to do so and I haven’t figured it out myself yet but by continually pushing through in my personal experience it only gets worse over time until it is ultimately unsustainable- I wish I had know this sooner. I have not had the best experience with therapists and mental health professionals and doctors as many are not well trained or informed on autism and are therefore unable to provide adequate support which can at times make the situation worse. I had completely given up on mental health professionals but recently gave it one last try when my university offered to help fund some specialist counselling for autistic individuals. I had low expectations but my counsellor is very good- he is autistic himself and mostly works with neurodiverse individuals and this makes a huge difference as I have less of a need to mask, don’t need to explain things so much and I am less likely to be misunderstood. I would recommend looking into this option and in general with counsellors I think it is very important to listen to your gut feelings- if it doesn’t feel right, I personally feel that it is better to stop and/or find someone else- it’s not something people talk about a lot but counselling can do damage as well. I would also encourage you to find out what support and accommodations the university can offer. My previous university actually had autism advisors and was quite good at taking care of autistic student’s needs. Many universities also have a counselling service which tends to be free and if this is not suitable or specialised enough there might be ways to get financial support for more specialised support through the university. This was an option at my previous university (unfortunately not where I am now) but it’s worth asking. It would help if your daughter could think about what things are draining and adding to stress and overwhelm and see if there might be ways to eliminate or minimise these either by asking for accommodations from the university or by making life style changes. If she feels that she needs a break there should be channels to intermit as well if this would help though it can be destabilising as it usually means you have to leave the university accommodation and means a lot of changes to environment and routine - it depends on situation but could be worth considering. Finally, is there maybe an option of going part time for a while?  I hope this is helpful! 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Hi Ann, thank you so much for taking the time to reply.  This is the first time I have really reached out.  I agree getting the right therapist can take time..  She is coming home for the weekend so we can discuss some of the points you have made.  I wish you well with your PhD and as I would say to my daughter, be kind to yourself.

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  • in reply to Ann :)

    Hi Ann, thank you so much for taking the time to reply.  This is the first time I have really reached out.  I agree getting the right therapist can take time..  She is coming home for the weekend so we can discuss some of the points you have made.  I wish you well with your PhD and as I would say to my daughter, be kind to yourself.

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