Confused about socialising 3.5 year old

I've seen lots of articles, information and advice around socialising children with autism. My son is 3.5 and he does attend nursery 5 mornings a week. I try to schedule activities in the afternoons such as supermarket trips, play groups, parks, farms... but for the most part, he does not want to do anything and absolutely does not want to speak to or interact with anyone. Especially other children. The nursery have also informed me that he mostly plays on his own and does not interact with other children and join in with group activities. Some of the problems I've had with play groups is that he doesn't want to sit still in one place or he doesn't understand how to share toys. He also has a speech delay. He will repeat words and sing a lot however. I spoke to the health worker and she told me to keep taking my son out all the time. However, its hard to see him feeling anxious and sometimes just runs back to the car or doesn't even want to get out. Should i force the social outings? Or should i just keep him at home where he is comfortable until he is more verbal? It also takes him a long time to get used to people and places... so often going somewhere new is stressful for him (and me as i hate seeing him upset). He is happiest at home so should i just follow his lead and let him stay at home?

Parents
  • At 3½, I think you need to try to sense your sons "social energy". Don't use other kids as your yardstick. See what works for him.

    When I was a bit older (7-ish) I was packed off to the cub scouts. I probably didn't want to go (I genuinely don't remember), but I liked it once I settled in. There were other things I really didn't want to do (discos, in my teens—and I still feel ill about them to this day). I think if your son is persistently resistant to something, then you should give it up, but a gentle push is not a bad thing to help him get over the initial anxiety of new things. Stick with what works for him.

  • Thank you for your helpful response and apolfor late reply. The comparison trap just creeps up on me and I need to keep reminding myself that we are on a unique journey. I really like the idea of a club. My son loves music and dancing so I want to give a go at some point in a small group and see how he feels. 

Reply
  • Thank you for your helpful response and apolfor late reply. The comparison trap just creeps up on me and I need to keep reminding myself that we are on a unique journey. I really like the idea of a club. My son loves music and dancing so I want to give a go at some point in a small group and see how he feels. 

Children
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