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Father not interested in childs diagnosis or how to help

melon

Hi

My son recently got the Aspergers diagnosis. I am reading up and finding out as much as I can about how he is affected, what his needs are and how I can help him. My husband is not!

Despite me asking my husband to do so he has not looked up a single thing about this condition. It seems like he doesn't care about our son or want to help him. He will not discuss the diagnosis with me or anyone else. 

I feel like a single parent right now. 

Any advise or thoughts?

Parents

  • Hi Melon,

      When my son was diagnosed I have to confess I was lost. It was a bereavement of sorts and i had to go through all the stages of grief, including anger. Like your husband i didn't research anything. It took me ages to process how i felt and I was so bogged down with managing everyday behaviours, it was more than I could take. Had I of found the courage to do some research, I probably would have learnt about managing behaviours rather than trudging on ignorant of what to do. I didn't even find the courage to join a forum untill more recently.

    Each person approaches diagnosis in their own way and that includes the individual themselves. My son was convinced he had something terminal when an insensitive consultant blurted it out. He took it really badly. My other son however, embraced his difficulties and actively searched for solutions.

    I believe my sons ASD comes from my side of the family also, in fact i'm certain of it. However, it's not just having the knowledge that you have the condition thats important, it's about how you move forward and look at strategies to cope. It will probably be an evolutionary process and all you can do is your best. Be patient I'm sure given time your husband will accept and move forward.

    Regards,

    Coogybear. x

Reply

  • Hi Melon,

      When my son was diagnosed I have to confess I was lost. It was a bereavement of sorts and i had to go through all the stages of grief, including anger. Like your husband i didn't research anything. It took me ages to process how i felt and I was so bogged down with managing everyday behaviours, it was more than I could take. Had I of found the courage to do some research, I probably would have learnt about managing behaviours rather than trudging on ignorant of what to do. I didn't even find the courage to join a forum untill more recently.

    Each person approaches diagnosis in their own way and that includes the individual themselves. My son was convinced he had something terminal when an insensitive consultant blurted it out. He took it really badly. My other son however, embraced his difficulties and actively searched for solutions.

    I believe my sons ASD comes from my side of the family also, in fact i'm certain of it. However, it's not just having the knowledge that you have the condition thats important, it's about how you move forward and look at strategies to cope. It will probably be an evolutionary process and all you can do is your best. Be patient I'm sure given time your husband will accept and move forward.

    Regards,

    Coogybear. x

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