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school:stay independent or specialist

hellywelly

hi

my 12 year old just diagnosed with Aspergers. He has had an awful year at senior, being bullied, social problems etc...he has no real friends, is referred to as weirdo etc....i have spent the year being treated like a neutotic mother and finally a diagnosis which has finally put the school firmly in its place. Being an independent school they're study support is limited, but they are 'looking into' what else they can provide, but i am not holding out for much.

this week my son did a taster day at an idependent specialist school for HF Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD etc the school is amazing and can offer him therapies at school to help with verbal reasoning ,,social skills and capatilise on his strengths, all good stuff.

when i picked him up he was shrivelled in a corner with high anxiety, he got in the car and said i am not going there, i am not like them...

everything has happened really quickly, he has only just been diagnosed 3 weeks ago, he knows a little, like his brain works slightly differently, he has amazing strengths, but this comes with additional challenges socially etc. initially he thought it was cool to be wired differently,but now he is horrified that he classed as a special needs child (his words)

with only a week left of term, i need to decide which school and my son os refusing to go to the special school. just don't know what to do for the best. he has moved school 3times already and i think he is sick of that too.....any advise would be welcome......tnx

Parents

  • It always amazes me that professionals believe that putting special needs children together because they share a diagnosis is a positive move.  My experience has been that the children don't socialise in the true sense of the work.  They may play a game that appeals to them, but once the game is over the relationships trends to breakdown and they go their separate ways.

    My children's friends are limited in number, but they tend too be older or younger than themselves.  It is likely that your child will gravitate more towards the tutors and because they are experienced in working with special needs children, he may feel more at ease with the tutors but less at ease with his peers. 

    If he stays where he is the tutors may become more accommodating of your son's needs, now he is diagnosed and you have more power to insist adjustments be made.

    Transitions are never easy so if the move turns out to be a negative one for him, you have very little options open to you.  Where could you move him if it doesn't work?

    Personally I would work with his current school and fight for change.  Only move him if he continues to be unhappy.

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  • It always amazes me that professionals believe that putting special needs children together because they share a diagnosis is a positive move.  My experience has been that the children don't socialise in the true sense of the work.  They may play a game that appeals to them, but once the game is over the relationships trends to breakdown and they go their separate ways.

    My children's friends are limited in number, but they tend too be older or younger than themselves.  It is likely that your child will gravitate more towards the tutors and because they are experienced in working with special needs children, he may feel more at ease with the tutors but less at ease with his peers. 

    If he stays where he is the tutors may become more accommodating of your son's needs, now he is diagnosed and you have more power to insist adjustments be made.

    Transitions are never easy so if the move turns out to be a negative one for him, you have very little options open to you.  Where could you move him if it doesn't work?

    Personally I would work with his current school and fight for change.  Only move him if he continues to be unhappy.

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