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Holidays and family activities

ClaireBear71

Hi everyone

I hope someone will have some good advice for me. My daughter is 15 and autistic. We are currently on holiday with all of the lack of routine and unfamiliarity that brings.

We have planned our week around one activity per day with rest times in between. Our daughter is struggling massively and had a meltdown when we were out today.

My husband is struggling with not being able to do as much as a family as he would like. He thinks she is somehow being selfish and not doing things for others and she should learn to adapt.

We are paying for counselling for her but she's only had 4 sessions so it's not had time to have any impact.

I want to do things as a family too but dragging her to places in my opinion isn't going to work because she will melt down and everyone will be miserable. 

Does anyone have any advice please? 

Many thanks

Parents

  • I was on a holiday in June. I couldn't have managed doing something every day. Doing something once every two or three days was definitely enough. Even at that, it was only going out for dinner to a restaurant, not going on a big day trip. And I'm the dad! I let everyone else get on with it and I joined them when I felt I had the energy to cope.

    We're all different and have different abilities to cope with things and this can change depending on circumstances. With the "lack of routine and unfamiliarity", your daughter is probably finding it hard just to do the basics. Once the meltdowns start, a break of a day or two is a necessity, not a luxury. She's struggling.

    None of this is your daughter's fault. She is not having meltdowns to further some agenda. She is probably trying her best to "learn to adapt", but is simply unable to do that. She sounds like she needs a day or two off help her to recover.

    Ask her what she'd like to do.

Reply

  • I was on a holiday in June. I couldn't have managed doing something every day. Doing something once every two or three days was definitely enough. Even at that, it was only going out for dinner to a restaurant, not going on a big day trip. And I'm the dad! I let everyone else get on with it and I joined them when I felt I had the energy to cope.

    We're all different and have different abilities to cope with things and this can change depending on circumstances. With the "lack of routine and unfamiliarity", your daughter is probably finding it hard just to do the basics. Once the meltdowns start, a break of a day or two is a necessity, not a luxury. She's struggling.

    None of this is your daughter's fault. She is not having meltdowns to further some agenda. She is probably trying her best to "learn to adapt", but is simply unable to do that. She sounds like she needs a day or two off help her to recover.

    Ask her what she'd like to do.

Children
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