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Holidays and family activities

ClaireBear71

Hi everyone

I hope someone will have some good advice for me. My daughter is 15 and autistic. We are currently on holiday with all of the lack of routine and unfamiliarity that brings.

We have planned our week around one activity per day with rest times in between. Our daughter is struggling massively and had a meltdown when we were out today.

My husband is struggling with not being able to do as much as a family as he would like. He thinks she is somehow being selfish and not doing things for others and she should learn to adapt.

We are paying for counselling for her but she's only had 4 sessions so it's not had time to have any impact.

I want to do things as a family too but dragging her to places in my opinion isn't going to work because she will melt down and everyone will be miserable. 

Does anyone have any advice please? 

Many thanks

Parents

  • I can understand the difficulty of not being able to do the amount you'd like on holiday but it is unlikely her being selfish. Change in routine is very challenging with autism. We unfortunately can't just learn to adapt. We need some level of predictability in order to cope. Holiday places can also be loud and busy and if abroad, too hot so it can be absolute sensory overload. 

    Are you writing down the plan for her each day? This can help with processing it. Especially if she's seen it the day before.

    Sometimes giving the person a little bit of control over something in the day can help. Doesn't need to be anything big. Just a little something that reassures that everything isn't out of her control. Closed choice can be useful too - this or that.

    Rest times are definitely a good idea. 

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  • I can understand the difficulty of not being able to do the amount you'd like on holiday but it is unlikely her being selfish. Change in routine is very challenging with autism. We unfortunately can't just learn to adapt. We need some level of predictability in order to cope. Holiday places can also be loud and busy and if abroad, too hot so it can be absolute sensory overload. 

    Are you writing down the plan for her each day? This can help with processing it. Especially if she's seen it the day before.

    Sometimes giving the person a little bit of control over something in the day can help. Doesn't need to be anything big. Just a little something that reassures that everything isn't out of her control. Closed choice can be useful too - this or that.

    Rest times are definitely a good idea. 

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