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My Father left me on my birthday and I found out he had an affair against my mother. I am Autistic and cannot handle this

JackRHOSullivan

Hi,

My name is Jack (removed by mod) and I have serious Aspergers and mild Tourettes and OCD. 

On my 18th Birthday last year 22/12/2013, my Father and Mother had an arguement after I told my Mother some of the cruel things he said to me about her. When my best friend and I left to meet my Sister, my parents argued and Father left. I felt guilty due to him leaving after I told my Mother all the cruel things he said. 

But on Christmas Day we got a call from Father's best friend called (removed by mod) who told us that Father had been having an affair against my Mother for three months and was living with a woman he met those three months ago in (removed by mod). I was full of rage and anger and wanted answers. In anger I had been avoiding contact with my Father only to find that he has contacted me multiple days of multiple weeks. He has had three girlfriends since he ran off and I know this by looking at his Facebook. He emailed me a photo of him and his new girlfriend and this really angered me. I want serious answers but I know he will not give it to me and I cannot ask him because even trying to find out why he cheated on my Mother would result in betraying my Mother. Everyone else says I should talk to him but I know that he will lie to me if I ask him. He is a lier and a cheat. He only talks about himself and never understood my Tourettes and servere Aspergers. 

What can I do to get through this stressful time?

Thanks. 

Jack.

Parents

  • In the ordinary way of things this is good advice, but please consider, is it so easy for someone on the spectrum?

    Social interaction is necessary for the re-assurance of others, and while an NT has ready access to friends to sound things out with, someone with autism will be hard put to find anyone to talk to in the way that's needed.

    But more importantly, and perhaps because of the difficulties of reasolving issues through social exchange, people with autism are prone to nursing and holding on to unresolved grievances.

    Jack's sense of betrayal, of himself and his mother, is going to be hard to shift. It is likely to stay going round and round in his head for a very long time. The only way people on the spectrum can find resolution in such situations is to work through every permutation to the point of exhaustion and even depression.

    To be honest the advice to let it go and move on would be hard for many NTs.

    We really need advice that addresses family issues from an autistic perspective. NAS Moderators - there must be some way you can usefully come in on this......

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  • In the ordinary way of things this is good advice, but please consider, is it so easy for someone on the spectrum?

    Social interaction is necessary for the re-assurance of others, and while an NT has ready access to friends to sound things out with, someone with autism will be hard put to find anyone to talk to in the way that's needed.

    But more importantly, and perhaps because of the difficulties of reasolving issues through social exchange, people with autism are prone to nursing and holding on to unresolved grievances.

    Jack's sense of betrayal, of himself and his mother, is going to be hard to shift. It is likely to stay going round and round in his head for a very long time. The only way people on the spectrum can find resolution in such situations is to work through every permutation to the point of exhaustion and even depression.

    To be honest the advice to let it go and move on would be hard for many NTs.

    We really need advice that addresses family issues from an autistic perspective. NAS Moderators - there must be some way you can usefully come in on this......

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