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Does anyone use private therapists?

carebear8

My son is 8 and has Aspergers.  Very high functioning.  We have just returned from a trip to America to visit his godparents. He was completely overwhelmed and found it difficult to interact at points and went into shutdown mode several times. His behaviour was worse than we experience with him at home.

His godparents have now responded to say that I am holding him back as he is so smart and cannot reach his potential as he is.  They think he should be in therapy for social skills on an intensive level.  They say that even Aspergers kids get 20 hours of therapy per week in the U.S

I am feeling like a failure as a parent as they are very close to me.  He doesn't have a statement at school and copes very well as he is in a structured routine.  He does have difficult with change and new places. I am not sure whether to pursue further help.  Does anyone else use private therapists for their high functioning kids?

Parents

  • Hi, firstly i dont blame you for feeling hurt that they have made it like youre not doing your best for your son, i dnt know you but im pretty confident that you are doing a brilliant job! So let that wash over you.

    Secondly, the services and funding and the process that the US has will be compllletely different to what we in the uk have- hell, it differs great even from county to county so im finding!

    We dont have use of private services for our son so i dnt really know whether or what sort of things are actually available tbf. What i will say is this, from my understanding of autism a child could be exceptionally clever in the eyes of someone relatively on the outside of their world the grandparents for example in your case, looking in just basing opinion on what they see outwardly in terms of skills/ confidence/ knowledge but the thing with autism is that all that hides the developmental delays and social dificulties that actually make things like being pushed in to more maintream/ higher level studies/ skills management areas and situations which actually they really arent ready for or capable of processing.  Do you see what i mean?

    So while the grandparents in the US see how bright and confident your son is and think that with more 'intensive' therapies' he will be far better off, you might know as his mum that actually that wouldnt be the case, going by your gut feeling trust your judgement and if you feel with services he has atm he is going in at a level best for him then thats completely fine. My son is very bright and confident and my parents still believe he can cope with situations that i know he wont- i felt like you at times, like they thought i was making this up or holding him bck, but i know him far better than anyone else- bar my hubby that is.

Reply

  • Hi, firstly i dont blame you for feeling hurt that they have made it like youre not doing your best for your son, i dnt know you but im pretty confident that you are doing a brilliant job! So let that wash over you.

    Secondly, the services and funding and the process that the US has will be compllletely different to what we in the uk have- hell, it differs great even from county to county so im finding!

    We dont have use of private services for our son so i dnt really know whether or what sort of things are actually available tbf. What i will say is this, from my understanding of autism a child could be exceptionally clever in the eyes of someone relatively on the outside of their world the grandparents for example in your case, looking in just basing opinion on what they see outwardly in terms of skills/ confidence/ knowledge but the thing with autism is that all that hides the developmental delays and social dificulties that actually make things like being pushed in to more maintream/ higher level studies/ skills management areas and situations which actually they really arent ready for or capable of processing.  Do you see what i mean?

    So while the grandparents in the US see how bright and confident your son is and think that with more 'intensive' therapies' he will be far better off, you might know as his mum that actually that wouldnt be the case, going by your gut feeling trust your judgement and if you feel with services he has atm he is going in at a level best for him then thats completely fine. My son is very bright and confident and my parents still believe he can cope with situations that i know he wont- i felt like you at times, like they thought i was making this up or holding him bck, but i know him far better than anyone else- bar my hubby that is.

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