Son 13 newly diagnosed ASD, do i tell him?

You know him best and how he will react a couple of ideas might be:  

• Just tell him, he will probably thank you for the up front honesty.
• Leave some stuff out about ASD see if he works it out himself
• Watch some TV like Big Bang, again see if he works it out 
• Stick a you tube channel on their must be a 'so you have ASD type thing' 

I found out as an adult I had ASD, I wish I'd have known as a kid , my Mum suspected but never took me the Dr , it didnt help and my life would have probably gone in a different direction if she did.

You may find its not a bad thing for him, and that he already realises he is different/better than everyone else in school!  

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Kind Regards,

Rosie Mod

Hi, I really feel that bringing him in on the whole this is really important.  I didn't tell my son for a while (he was only 8/9 when he was diagnosed so a bit younger that your son), I thought I could just make adjustments to what we did and not tell him, just be very 'inclusive' in my approach.  When I changed my job role and started coaching nuerodivergent university students who had spent their lives not knowing (lots of them are diagnosed late or are not yet diagnosed as they have managed some how to get through their education until they reach university when the overwhelm hits like a tsunami) - that's when I realised that it was so important that my son knew, so that he could learn to advocate for himself, he could learn that there was nothing wrong with him - he just sees the world differently to some of his friends and that means that sometimes he might need to ask for certain accommodations to make life more fair for him.  I started to talk to him about his 'busy brain' and the fact that lots of his friends' brains weren't so busy so things were sometimes a bit easier for them in school.  I started to talk to him about how all the visuals and checklists i had all around the house, were to help him stay focused as his brain might try to distract him ... those kinds of things.  There are loads of neuroaffirmative youtube videos out there to explain in simplistic terms what's going on without making it seem like anything's 'wrong'. 

Ultimately you have to make your own decision about what feels right for you as a family right now.  There is no judgement for what you decide either way.  School should support you in that decision, they should also be able to offer some guidance around how to speak to him about it, and perhaps some therapy input to help him process it. 

Whatever you choose, all the very best for the journey! 

Laura *** / SENsory Mother (listed in the Directory) 

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Hi and welcome the community!

You might find the advice here helpful:

NAS - Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis > When and how should I talk to my child about their diagnosis?

Afterwards, your son might find this set of resources helpful:

NAS - Resources for autistic teenagers - The Know Yourself series