Speaking at School

You sound exactly like my 15 year old son. He can speak only at home and only to us, his family. I've asked him why he doesn't speak at school and he said same as you, he wants to, but something stops him. I think it's because he has anxiety. The only way he can communicate at school is with a small white board he has with him all the time and with picture cards. 

I have two daughters who are only able to say thing they know will elicit a positive response. They can never say no, ask for help, etc.

My older daughter finds it easier to communicate with teachers by email.

My younger daughter has some communcation cards in her pocket with some simple phrases that she can't say out loud and she shows these to teachers.

She is also going to start working with a speech therapist who will work on role playing difficult situations with her. Once she's used to saying things with just the speech therapist the plan is to bring in some of the teaching staff so she can do the same role plays with them. Hopefully having said things several times in role play will allow her to feel more able to say exactly the same words in real situations when she needs to.

I don't know if these are strategies you could adapt to your situation?

It sounds like you have selective mutism and it can be treated by speech and language therapists. Have you had a speech and language assessment? 

Hes 15, im sure he can plan what to say himself, the issue expressed is not in knowing what to say but in overcoming the inhibition. Id suggest you find the least difficult circumstance and have a go. If you still have difficulty, you could try the turn and talk technique by which you wait till you hear a comment that you would be comfortable discussing then turn to the person/group and make a response to what has been said. 

To be avoided however, is going around attempting to start conversations about your "special interests" as this is unlikely to prove as interesting to others as it does to yourself and can result in open mockery and deliberate exclusion.

Hi Jake

My 13 yr old daughter gets very anxious about speaking to people.  She isn't at school at the moment but has some online lessons.  She struggles to talk to one of the teachers as she's quite chatty so I made her some cards to read out when she needs her to go slower.  Would your mum or dad be able to write down some suggestions of things to say or ask that you could perhaps memorize?