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Going to tell my 7 year old he is autistic

SarahB15

Hi there,

I am in a tough spot and would love some advice from other parents who have had this chat. Since my son started grade one, everything has changed for him.. as I believe the expectations are higher but also, so abnormal to how he functions. Sitting in a desk all day listening to a lecture or the buzzing loud noise of 20+ kids is getting too much. I recently had surgery and his seperation anxiety has spiked.. he cries every morning at drop off and it breaking my heart. Recently kids teased him saying he was dumb for how he writes..

So here I am, debating on telling him about his autism and exactly what to say. My son is extremely high functioning so I think he will be understanding, but he suffers from low confidence despite our best efforts. I really do believe it is his super power, he is so bright, funny and gifted.. he wouldn't be him, if he wasn't autistic ! And I absolutely adore him, everyone who meets him does.. 

To end my long speech (thanks for reading) how did you tell your child? How was it received ? Or really anything ? I don't even know where to begin.

Thanks <3

Parents

  • Our son was about 11 when we told him. I wrote him a letter which he read at the kitchen table with us, about how some of the issues he was having with school were identical to mine at his age, and it was because I had autism, and so does he.

    Everyone is different I guess but in our case he accepted it really well. A couple years later it became apparent he needed to be tested for ADHD and we stated talking to him about that - from his perspective the diagnosis couldn’t come soon enough…

    If it helps, he’s currently in a school for about 500 pupils of all ages that have specific learning difficulties and, on entry, I asked the headmaster how many of the boys attending his school were aware of their diagnoses - he suggested ‘probably most of them’.

    From my personal perspective, I wish I’d known I had autism when I was still a child, things would have been so much easier and could have been so different.

    Best of luck.

Reply

  • Our son was about 11 when we told him. I wrote him a letter which he read at the kitchen table with us, about how some of the issues he was having with school were identical to mine at his age, and it was because I had autism, and so does he.

    Everyone is different I guess but in our case he accepted it really well. A couple years later it became apparent he needed to be tested for ADHD and we stated talking to him about that - from his perspective the diagnosis couldn’t come soon enough…

    If it helps, he’s currently in a school for about 500 pupils of all ages that have specific learning difficulties and, on entry, I asked the headmaster how many of the boys attending his school were aware of their diagnoses - he suggested ‘probably most of them’.

    From my personal perspective, I wish I’d known I had autism when I was still a child, things would have been so much easier and could have been so different.

    Best of luck.

Children
  • in reply to sjz

    Thank you for this, I deeply appreciate the point of view. We do have some private schools here for kids with similar abilities but most say to keep him in public school with neurotypical children. I was told last week from his overstimulation and not wanting to he in class, he is just in the hall, LRT office or in the main office.. I think his education is suffering.. as it is a small school and they just don't want to focus on just him. He is brilliant, feel like it is being wasted.