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An awful day - pre diagnosis

Balloonflight1925

Hi,

I’m not really sure why I am posting other than we’ve had an awful day and I need to know I’m not going crazy.

My 8yo has not been diagnosed but we are pretty sure she has autism (we did a self referral previously but because of masking at school it didn’t work, but we are now working with the school on a referral).

Shes high masking so we get the worst of it, and most people might think she was a little odd/introverted but not neurodivergent.

we’ve had a lot of change in the last month - I’ve started a new job so our routine is different, I am around less and her dad is doing more of the childcare around school. Plus a few other small things have happened in the past couple of weeks that probably had a cumulative effect.

It was her birthday today and honestly it’s been the worst day. She woke in a bad mood because she was expecting to be the first one to wake up (we’re not sure why) and threw several gifts because they were not what she wanted. 


There have been tears on and off all day. Birthdays are always tough (not just hers) but this has been the worst. She seems ok now she’s had a normal evening routine and gone to bed, but I still feel shellshocked.

I guess I’m looking for a little solidarity and maybe some tips? 

Parents

  • I can imagine it must be hard and demoralising when you try to create a special day and it goes a bit wrong.
    But is this not the issue, i.e, that it is a special day. Are you doing if for you or your daughter.
    What would she like to do on her birthday, perhaps that would not be so stimulating?

    Does she appreciate it later, so perhaps tomorrow she will say thankyou and it will not be so bad?

    Would it be better to space the presents out, e.g. one per hour?

    Is there a time when she is more calm, e.g. at 11am once she has got into the day, or after lunch.

    I don't have any answers, these are just some guesses.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    She wants the tradition of all the presents being out in the morning. Most of HER birthdays go well, she usually struggles most with her siblings birthday.

    i think the trigger today is that her resilience is low due to the big changes to our routine, so then ANYTHING that doesn’t go the way she’s expecting leads to a meltdown.

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  • in reply to Stuart333

    She wants the tradition of all the presents being out in the morning. Most of HER birthdays go well, she usually struggles most with her siblings birthday.

    i think the trigger today is that her resilience is low due to the big changes to our routine, so then ANYTHING that doesn’t go the way she’s expecting leads to a meltdown.

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