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Sibling behaviour

Navigating the pathway

Hi all! I have a 10 Yr old on the pathway to ASD diagnosis and a 5 Yr old. There has been a recent shift in my youngest child's behaviour, with big disregualtions similar to that displayed by her brother and the last 2 days school refusal.

Bit of background when my son was younger I suspected ASD but was dismissed as him just "having a temper"  due to this there was a delay in accessing support for him. Therefore I have been very conscious of my daughters behaviour and identifying signs early so that we can start to recieve support as soon as possible. I have spoken with her teacher who herself has girls with ASD and she says that my daughter isnt displaying any signs or showing the behaviours we are seeing at home, she is also thriving at ballet and again not displayingany behaviours. I am now torn between ti's meaning the behaviour is just at home as learned behaviour and she knows the behavioural expectations of different environments or she is masking.

Does anyone else have experience of this and if so did you seek support or put it down to learned behaviour? 

Thank you in advance

Parents

  • My partner's boys (9&12) have dislayed this kind of behaviour in the past, with the youngest one 'coke bottling' when he gets home after having to mask all day and hold everything in to avoid being bullied etc.

    It's often a result of waiting all day to get back into a safe space to let off steam. It's hard to witness and to manage. It turned out that both her kids were getting hassle from other kids, plus inconsistent teaching methods, changing rules etc, and that was causing the extreme behaviour at home. School refusals and PDA are things that happen on occasion. The way we've managed to work out what it was is that meltdowns tend not to happen at school unless in extreme circumstances and environments. If they wait until they get home to explode then the problem isn't at home and it isnt something that you're doing wrong.

    It might be worth trying to find out what is happening at school and how things are with friends, lessons, teachers etc. This is just what I've learned from my own experience. Each autistic kid is different so an open minded approach is always best. 

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  • My partner's boys (9&12) have dislayed this kind of behaviour in the past, with the youngest one 'coke bottling' when he gets home after having to mask all day and hold everything in to avoid being bullied etc.

    It's often a result of waiting all day to get back into a safe space to let off steam. It's hard to witness and to manage. It turned out that both her kids were getting hassle from other kids, plus inconsistent teaching methods, changing rules etc, and that was causing the extreme behaviour at home. School refusals and PDA are things that happen on occasion. The way we've managed to work out what it was is that meltdowns tend not to happen at school unless in extreme circumstances and environments. If they wait until they get home to explode then the problem isn't at home and it isnt something that you're doing wrong.

    It might be worth trying to find out what is happening at school and how things are with friends, lessons, teachers etc. This is just what I've learned from my own experience. Each autistic kid is different so an open minded approach is always best. 

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