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how to convince my husband to let my son go for Asperger diagnosis

puffin

We have known now for two years my son has ASD probably Aspergers.  It was brought to our attention my his P1 teacher,  we were completly oblivious as we led a quiet sheltered life and knew our son had quirks but suspected nothing more.

of course it was worse at school, no eye contact not speaking up, eager to please easily frustrated embarassed, he just strauggled at everything social and unstrauctured, gym and swimming were a nightmare!

I speak to my husband about it ( we can now see my husnabd is also on the spoectrum) but holds down a job.

My husband accepts the Aspergers but is most worried about the burden of you have a disability, he just feels no matter how much you jazz it up thats what it comes down to and our son he fears is clever enough to figure that out and will have another burden to bare.  He knows he is different in a good way , i tell him every day.  We also accept his social struggles and help him where we can  He is ok with us by his side (extra confidence) he struggles when we are not there.

Prt of me agrees with my husband, yet the other worries he may find out accidently which would be awful also i have read so many times notes from children that wished there parents had explained there difrerences earlier, it would have explained alot.

I am worried about giving it the name i guess as he already accepts difference can be good.  But he also desperatly wants to fit in and be like his friends!

I would not go for diagnosis unless my husband was 100% behind it.

We have little facilities where we help and i have been told if our son was diagnosed officialy there would not be much help as he is high fuctioning so my husbands other arguement is what is the point?

has anyone out there accepted the ASD without wanting or needing a official diagnosis?

Any ideas on convincing my husband to let our son be officially diagnosed if only to help me learn  the best way to teach him, as he is now homeschooled and content.

Thank you in advance,

Puffin

Parents

  • I'm unclear how old your son is but I'm guessing P1 is primary 1 so fairly young?

    What I would say is, although it might be ok now, not having an official diagnosis, as he grows, this might prove to be more troublesome.  

    He's not at school and is content - I can relate to that as my own daughter is currently out of school and has become more contect but I know this is because of a lack of demands on her.  I'm not home schooling because I can't physically and mentally do this.  Without her diagnosis, I don't think I'd be getting the support I'm getting for my daughter.  The school she is registered with has become more accepting of her anxiety since her diagnosis.  Without the diagnosis, I think there would be more pressure for her to return to school.

    You actually can't tell what the future will hold.  We may all have an idea of what we expect but life has a funny way of taking over.  If your son had a diagnosis, it would always be there when you need it but if something happened and you needed help, I'm quessing your word that you think he is on the spectrum wouldn't count for much.

    Hope that makes sense?

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  • I'm unclear how old your son is but I'm guessing P1 is primary 1 so fairly young?

    What I would say is, although it might be ok now, not having an official diagnosis, as he grows, this might prove to be more troublesome.  

    He's not at school and is content - I can relate to that as my own daughter is currently out of school and has become more contect but I know this is because of a lack of demands on her.  I'm not home schooling because I can't physically and mentally do this.  Without her diagnosis, I don't think I'd be getting the support I'm getting for my daughter.  The school she is registered with has become more accepting of her anxiety since her diagnosis.  Without the diagnosis, I think there would be more pressure for her to return to school.

    You actually can't tell what the future will hold.  We may all have an idea of what we expect but life has a funny way of taking over.  If your son had a diagnosis, it would always be there when you need it but if something happened and you needed help, I'm quessing your word that you think he is on the spectrum wouldn't count for much.

    Hope that makes sense?

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