Desperate for help - sensory clothing nightmare. Daughter can't get dressed

DD (10) has always had sensory issues but it's become so unmanageable in the last few months. I don't know whether it's the added pressures of year 5 (which she finds hard) or the onset of puberty, but it's a daily struggle to get her dressed. Weekends are no better than school days. It's taking 2 hours of hysterical crying to get her dressed at the moment. It's like she's having a panic attack because she finds everything so uncomfortable. Pants seem to be the biggest trigger. We keep missing the start of school as a result. On Sunday she had to miss her friend's birthday party as she just couldn't get dressed and was so distressed.

We're at our wits end. We've got rid of all her clothes and started again with ultra soft pants (in every style), seamless socks and clothes that she has approved as comfortable. But still, every morning is the same.

I've tried putting on relaxing music and giving her a deep pressure massage before dressing, but that isn't working.

If anyone has got any tips at all, I'd be very grateful. We're due to go on holiday next week and I have visions of us having to cancel as we can't get her to the airport on time....

Parents
  • Hello there, I know this is an old post but I could’ve written that myself about my daughter at the moment and I am also desperate for any help Or suggestions.  while she has always struggled with clothes this last month has been unbearable for her resulting in last week almost completely reaching a burnout  and we have spent the last week at home with no dressing demands to try and lower her nervous system panic.  for the first time ever we had an occupational therapist come in the other day to do some assessments with her so we are awaiting his report with some suggested exercises et cetera but in the meantime she is struggling to get dressed to even leave the house she’s absolutely devastated that she missed something important to her today, just a music lesson but she was so looking forward to it. She tries and tries to put her clothes on but once they are on she panics about how they feel and pulls them off and just says I can’t do it.  She is almost 10.  We must have every item of clothing undergarments imaginable and I actually at this point in time think that anything could be uncomfortable on her as I think it’s more about how her body feels than the actual clothes.  aside from the OT. can anyone tell me that they hit a really bad point at this age and that it got better.   Please Pray    

  • Hi  This was the age when my daughter's issues with clothing starting too. I'm convinced that it's puberty related. It also seems to be a time at school when expectations ramp up, and social interactions between girls seem to get harder to navigate. It's a perfect storm. I'm happy to be able to reassure you that things for us have got MUCH better. In fact, we have virtually no clothing issues at all now. We've gone from not being able to leave the house, to my daughter able to wear her school shirt and tie. I can't believe the change in just one year. 

    Is your daughter on any kind of medication? For us, the ADHD medication greatly increased the sensory sensitivity. Once we stopped it, things improved. Regardless though, I think she's just happier in her body now than she was. 

    I really hope things improve for you too. In the meantime, things that helped during the worse period:

    -Giving her a deep pressure massage before getting dressed

    -Keeping things very calm - no pressure to get ready

    -Getting the school to agree that she could wear whatever she was comfortable in that day

    -Seamless socks (you've probably already got those)

    -Seamless, very soft cotton short pants from Next

    -Soft material, loose fitting trousers from Hollister (they generally have nice, soft fabrics I've found) 

    Best of luck. I know how hard it is.

  • Thank you Pray yes I also think puberty and school/friendship ‘drama’ may have exasperated an issue that’s always been there.  She’s not on any medication.   I’ll try Hollister.   Finding it so hard at the moment as she literally can only stand a dressing gown type top and that’s it, Even her once always safe option of pyjamas, she can no longer tolerate.  I’ll try the massaging.  Thanks so much for the reply feeling lost at the moment 

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  • Thank you Pray yes I also think puberty and school/friendship ‘drama’ may have exasperated an issue that’s always been there.  She’s not on any medication.   I’ll try Hollister.   Finding it so hard at the moment as she literally can only stand a dressing gown type top and that’s it, Even her once always safe option of pyjamas, she can no longer tolerate.  I’ll try the massaging.  Thanks so much for the reply feeling lost at the moment 

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