Desperate for help - sensory clothing nightmare. Daughter can't get dressed

DD (10) has always had sensory issues but it's become so unmanageable in the last few months. I don't know whether it's the added pressures of year 5 (which she finds hard) or the onset of puberty, but it's a daily struggle to get her dressed. Weekends are no better than school days. It's taking 2 hours of hysterical crying to get her dressed at the moment. It's like she's having a panic attack because she finds everything so uncomfortable. Pants seem to be the biggest trigger. We keep missing the start of school as a result. On Sunday she had to miss her friend's birthday party as she just couldn't get dressed and was so distressed.

We're at our wits end. We've got rid of all her clothes and started again with ultra soft pants (in every style), seamless socks and clothes that she has approved as comfortable. But still, every morning is the same.

I've tried putting on relaxing music and giving her a deep pressure massage before dressing, but that isn't working.

If anyone has got any tips at all, I'd be very grateful. We're due to go on holiday next week and I have visions of us having to cancel as we can't get her to the airport on time....

Parents
  • Hi there

    This sounds exactly like our situation! My daughter is 7, she has always struggled a bit with clothing but in the last few weeks (since starting year 3) it’s gradually got worse and worse. We now struggle to leave the house because she just cannot tolerate any clothing. I’ve tried everything, ordered so many clothes for her to try etc. Sometimes we find something and it’s ok for a day or two and then she will reject it. It’s basically every item now that she can’t tolerate but particularly knickers, trousers, socks, shoes. She definitely struggles with anxiety, so i believe there is likely a link, but it’s hard to know if the sensory issues are caused by the anxiety. They certainly add to the anxiety.we are actually doing a CBT parenting course to help her with the anxiety, but apparently CBT is not helpful for sensory issues and could even make matters worse. 

    The other big problem we have is that our daughter is very sensitive to what people think about her, so not only do her clothes need to feel right they also need to look right. I just wish I knew what ‘right’ was.

    My daughter hasn’t been diagnosed with any ND though the school and GP have suggested a referral, but I guess that could take a long time, and what if it comes back that there is no ND? What I assume we need is to see an OT who specialises in sensory sensitivities, but apparently that isn’t possible via the NHS unless you go down the ND assessment route. Which is ridiculous. Anyway… apologies for the wall of text… it’s been a very difficult few weeks for us and I wanted to ask of you ever found a way to cope with the challenges your daughter was having? I can’t think of anything I haven’t tried already. 

    I hope you managed to enjoy your holiday… the last two holidays we went in she insisted on wearing the same outfit every single day. 

    Thanks

    J

  • Well in our case, we took her off the ADHD medication and the impact on her sensory sensitivities was immediate. I couldn't believe the difference it made - all of a sudden clothes were (mostly) fine. She still has some difficult days when she is generally dysregulated, but nothing like before. I've heard occupational therapy can be really helpful -- have you explored this for your daughter? We were planning this before we twigged that it was the medication making things so bad.

  • It's good you found a simple solution. Is this a known side effect for some people.

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