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Desperate for help - sensory clothing nightmare. Daughter can't get dressed

Falcon2008

DD (10) has always had sensory issues but it's become so unmanageable in the last few months. I don't know whether it's the added pressures of year 5 (which she finds hard) or the onset of puberty, but it's a daily struggle to get her dressed. Weekends are no better than school days. It's taking 2 hours of hysterical crying to get her dressed at the moment. It's like she's having a panic attack because she finds everything so uncomfortable. Pants seem to be the biggest trigger. We keep missing the start of school as a result. On Sunday she had to miss her friend's birthday party as she just couldn't get dressed and was so distressed.

We're at our wits end. We've got rid of all her clothes and started again with ultra soft pants (in every style), seamless socks and clothes that she has approved as comfortable. But still, every morning is the same.

I've tried putting on relaxing music and giving her a deep pressure massage before dressing, but that isn't working.

If anyone has got any tips at all, I'd be very grateful. We're due to go on holiday next week and I have visions of us having to cancel as we can't get her to the airport on time....

Parents

  • Reading Martin's post. When my son was at school, on days he was stressed he could not get his trousers on as there would be an issue with them. Personally I definitely have more issues around sensitivity with clothes at times I am stressed.

    I note you are going on holiday next week and wonder if the thought of going away is causing anxiety. 

  • in reply to Homebird

    Thanks Homebird. If the holiday is causing anxiety, is there anything we can do to help her with it? I asked her how she felt about the holiday and she said she was excited but worried she was going to ruin it for everyone 

  • in reply to Falcon2008

    That's interesting. It may help to give her as much detail as possible about where you are going. When I am going anywhere in this country I Google as much as possible about it.

    She might find it helpful to plan things to take with her she is familiar with. If she is worried she will ruin it, perhaps explore why and be open to plans that will give her space when she needs it. Personally when doing difficult things I find it helpful if going somewhere to know what time we are likely to return. I find the more certainty over plans the easier it is, rather than a void of what we might do. I guess going abroad may have some limitations but worth discussing what might help. Do you have plans for what you might do if the plane is late?

    I hope some of this might help in your discussions and plans. Finally you may need to be prepared if she really can't manage it to show understanding, but hopefully as she is excited you can work together to make it possible.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you, this is really helpful. I haven't spoken to her much about the holiday plans really (she hasn't asked!) but I can see this could help alleviate any anxiety. Thankyou.

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  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you, this is really helpful. I haven't spoken to her much about the holiday plans really (she hasn't asked!) but I can see this could help alleviate any anxiety. Thankyou.

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