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Desperate for help - sensory clothing nightmare. Daughter can't get dressed

Falcon2008

DD (10) has always had sensory issues but it's become so unmanageable in the last few months. I don't know whether it's the added pressures of year 5 (which she finds hard) or the onset of puberty, but it's a daily struggle to get her dressed. Weekends are no better than school days. It's taking 2 hours of hysterical crying to get her dressed at the moment. It's like she's having a panic attack because she finds everything so uncomfortable. Pants seem to be the biggest trigger. We keep missing the start of school as a result. On Sunday she had to miss her friend's birthday party as she just couldn't get dressed and was so distressed.

We're at our wits end. We've got rid of all her clothes and started again with ultra soft pants (in every style), seamless socks and clothes that she has approved as comfortable. But still, every morning is the same.

I've tried putting on relaxing music and giving her a deep pressure massage before dressing, but that isn't working.

If anyone has got any tips at all, I'd be very grateful. We're due to go on holiday next week and I have visions of us having to cancel as we can't get her to the airport on time....

Parents

  • You say weekends are no better than school days, but are there events she needs to go to every weekend day? As Martin says, it may be anxiety over leaving the house - if she is already overloaded with anxiety, her sensory sensitivities may increase, or It could be that she's burnt out and just needs to rest.

    Are there any days when she can just stay in the house, and if so is it just as bad? If she usually goes somewhere every day, maybe you could arrange for next weekend to be two days of staying at home and see if it's any different then? If you do identify that anxiety is causing or exacerbating her sensory issues, you could then look at how to reduce the anxiety and give her breaks to recover.

    You say that she has approved the new clothes as comfortable, and you are obviously aware about problems with seams and labels. The NAS guidance includes suggestions to try turning clothes inside out, and to allow the person to do tasks for themselves like washing and dressing.

    Does she wear anything to bed, or does she sleep naked? If she has clothing she wears to bed, you could try buying her something similar for daytime - e.g. If she likes pyjamas, maybe she would like soft joggers and a sweatshirt, if she prefers a nightie maybe a dress is better.

    I hope things improve soon.

Reply

  • You say weekends are no better than school days, but are there events she needs to go to every weekend day? As Martin says, it may be anxiety over leaving the house - if she is already overloaded with anxiety, her sensory sensitivities may increase, or It could be that she's burnt out and just needs to rest.

    Are there any days when she can just stay in the house, and if so is it just as bad? If she usually goes somewhere every day, maybe you could arrange for next weekend to be two days of staying at home and see if it's any different then? If you do identify that anxiety is causing or exacerbating her sensory issues, you could then look at how to reduce the anxiety and give her breaks to recover.

    You say that she has approved the new clothes as comfortable, and you are obviously aware about problems with seams and labels. The NAS guidance includes suggestions to try turning clothes inside out, and to allow the person to do tasks for themselves like washing and dressing.

    Does she wear anything to bed, or does she sleep naked? If she has clothing she wears to bed, you could try buying her something similar for daytime - e.g. If she likes pyjamas, maybe she would like soft joggers and a sweatshirt, if she prefers a nightie maybe a dress is better.

    I hope things improve soon.

Children
  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you Lotus. I wonder whether it is burn out. She has lots of activities - a club each day, which she loves and insists on doing. I am already planning for Monday and Tuesday or next week (first week of holiday) to not really leave the house unless she wants to, so hopefully that will help. 

    I know that this is often related to anxiety, but she doesn't seem to be anxious - she's not able to tell me if she is anyway. 

    She wears loose fitting pyjamas to bed. At half term she did end up going out one day in the pj bottoms because they were only thing she found comfortable. We've tried SO hard to get loose fitting trousers she likes. I must have purchased about 30 items of (rejected) clothing in the last few months. We managed to find one pair but she now says they are too hot to wear. 

    I'm so stressed we won't be able to find anything she's comfortable in before this holiday.