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How to help my son with people he doesn't like

LucyA

Hello, my son is 13. He thinks very logically and has limited tolerance for things he thinks are unfair or nasty.

He will refuse to spend time with people if they have upset him. I also think he picks up on micro expressions and body language and can't interpret.

I find myself helping him think through these things, seeing other perspectives and giving people another chance.

We are stuck on 2 teachers he is finding unfair, strict and not understanding - with good reason for him. Other people may be able to forgive and forget.

This means he is refusing to go into school because of them, school are offering no alternative if he can't do lessons with them - he is in a specialist setting.

Now because there is no alternative he thinks if he gets upset at school there will be no one to go to (as if there is no alternative that means no one is available).

Has anyone been in similar situations?

We are struggling to think of a way forward.

He does want to go to school and in general his school fits his needs well.

TIA

Parents

  • Dear LucyA, 

    Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school 

    You may fund our gudience on 'What can I do if my child won't go to school?' of particular interest: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/attendance-problems   

    If you require further support, you may like to contact the following regional organisations:  

    England  

    • Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions:  www.kids.org.uk/sendiass  
    • Independent Provider of Special Education Advice is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND: www.ipsea.org.uk/   
    •  Coram’s Child Law Advice service can be accessed through their website or contacted on 0300 330 5485 from Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm: childlawadvice.org.uk/.../  
    • SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision: https://sossen.org.uk/services/helpline/ Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

    Wales  

    • SNAP Cymru provide advice on a variety of issues that a child or young person may encounter during their education www.snapcymru.org/.../  

     Scotland  

    • Enquire provide advice about additional support for learning for children attending school enquire.org.uk/   
    • Govan Law Centre’s Education Law Unit provide legal advice on the rights of pupils with additional support needs govanlawcentre.org/.../   

     Northern Ireland  

    • The Children’s Law Centre provides a free legal advice service and legal representation for children and young people: childrenslawcentre.org.uk/ 
    • The NI Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY) and their work is focused on making sure children and young people have access to their rights in their day-to-day lives, so they have the best opportunity to reach their full potential https://www.niccy.org/ 

    I hope this is helpful. 

    Kind Regards,
    Rosie Mod

Reply

  • Dear LucyA, 

    Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school 

    You may fund our gudience on 'What can I do if my child won't go to school?' of particular interest: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/attendance-problems   

    If you require further support, you may like to contact the following regional organisations:  

    England  

    • Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions:  www.kids.org.uk/sendiass  
    • Independent Provider of Special Education Advice is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND: www.ipsea.org.uk/   
    •  Coram’s Child Law Advice service can be accessed through their website or contacted on 0300 330 5485 from Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm: childlawadvice.org.uk/.../  
    • SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision: https://sossen.org.uk/services/helpline/ Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

    Wales  

    • SNAP Cymru provide advice on a variety of issues that a child or young person may encounter during their education www.snapcymru.org/.../  

     Scotland  

    • Enquire provide advice about additional support for learning for children attending school enquire.org.uk/   
    • Govan Law Centre’s Education Law Unit provide legal advice on the rights of pupils with additional support needs govanlawcentre.org/.../   

     Northern Ireland  

    • The Children’s Law Centre provides a free legal advice service and legal representation for children and young people: childrenslawcentre.org.uk/ 
    • The NI Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY) and their work is focused on making sure children and young people have access to their rights in their day-to-day lives, so they have the best opportunity to reach their full potential https://www.niccy.org/ 

    I hope this is helpful. 

    Kind Regards,
    Rosie Mod

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