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How to help my son with people he doesn't like

LucyA

Hello, my son is 13. He thinks very logically and has limited tolerance for things he thinks are unfair or nasty.

He will refuse to spend time with people if they have upset him. I also think he picks up on micro expressions and body language and can't interpret.

I find myself helping him think through these things, seeing other perspectives and giving people another chance.

We are stuck on 2 teachers he is finding unfair, strict and not understanding - with good reason for him. Other people may be able to forgive and forget.

This means he is refusing to go into school because of them, school are offering no alternative if he can't do lessons with them - he is in a specialist setting.

Now because there is no alternative he thinks if he gets upset at school there will be no one to go to (as if there is no alternative that means no one is available).

Has anyone been in similar situations?

We are struggling to think of a way forward.

He does want to go to school and in general his school fits his needs well.

TIA

Parents

  • There seems to be quite a lot of stuff online about microexpressions and loads about body language too, maybe this is something you could explore with him?

    13's a funny age, he will be starting to have a more adult awareness, but like many of his peers, ND and NT, won't have the emotional maturity to fully recognise or deal with them. He may also have a feeling that any microexpression of say nausea is about him, rather than the teacher having eaten something that disagrees with them, or suffering from morning sickness. It took me a long time, years to fully realise that is wasn't all about me.

    Maybe if you try and help him to explore things like body language through a more anthropological lens, it might help him understand whats happening and help him to believe its not all about him.

Reply

  • There seems to be quite a lot of stuff online about microexpressions and loads about body language too, maybe this is something you could explore with him?

    13's a funny age, he will be starting to have a more adult awareness, but like many of his peers, ND and NT, won't have the emotional maturity to fully recognise or deal with them. He may also have a feeling that any microexpression of say nausea is about him, rather than the teacher having eaten something that disagrees with them, or suffering from morning sickness. It took me a long time, years to fully realise that is wasn't all about me.

    Maybe if you try and help him to explore things like body language through a more anthropological lens, it might help him understand whats happening and help him to believe its not all about him.

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