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natali

Hi

There has been quite a lot of discussion about it but I could not find anything recent.

Do you know any agency who could advice on the matter?

My 5,5 year old son with ASD is in y1 in a mainstream school. He is verbal, bright and presents very normal well but has serious meltdowns when feels frustrated or threatened. He is almost fully statemented for full-time TA support, which he is getting at the moment. The problem is, the head has made it clear to us that if we choose to stay in the school he would face permanent exclusion for his behaviour. Lately, they've started escluding him regurlaly for a few day, just to make it even clearer.

Help, please, anybody...

Parents

  • Hi  natali

      It has been a real battle. Like your boy my sons present very much with NT characteristics a lot of the time, however the meltdowns can be paralizing for them and such a contrast to their calm and quiet periods. It's always a shock for others to witness if they don't realize they have ASD. As they get older these meldowns can be percieved as less acceptable socially, so coping startegies are important

    Having people tell you they don't believe they have ASD is not helpful to anyone and having meldowns which either manifest at School or home, but not in other environments is quite common.

    Is your son statemented? I know when my son went to his specialist school he had a taxi provided by the LEA, this took a great deal of strain off us having to deliver children to various detinations especially when I had one college, some at Secondary and one at Primary. 

    Exclusion from various events is another common issue when a child has been identified as having an 'issue' by a School. This demoralizes children and isolates them emotionally. My son felt very angry at being excluded from various School events which were going on whislt he was in Primary School. This does not foster an ethos of inclusivity and is really very damaging i find.

    It's probable if your son has sensory issues, which many do, that the School environment can be sensory overload for him. A trained TA would be able to offer time out or a separate calming environment to chill. At Secondary my son was allowed to go to a chillout room to decompress. Once he was sufficiently calm he'd return to the environment and carry on. Have you asked about time-out to defuse any overload?

    Separate sensory stimulus is another way to defuse anxiety amd meltsowns. One of my boys used bluetack in his pockets to squeeze. It was not obvious to others so he didn't stand out to his peers. Only recently have we replaced this with Mohdoh, but that is as much about reducing his migraines as it is about his sensory needs. (trial.) Could your son use something like this in School? just a thought. They have a calming one also.

    www.ebay.co.uk/.../161235219284

    My other son used stimming to drown out the extrenuous stimili. (hand flapping, rocking, knee bouncing, noises etc) Most find ways to indicate their stress, but if the support struggles to read the signs chaos can ensue. It sound like the staff at his School could do with some Autism awareness training. Do get some advice with regard to the exclusions. It's not right. My heart goes out to you and yours.

    Coogybear

    XX

Reply

  • Hi  natali

      It has been a real battle. Like your boy my sons present very much with NT characteristics a lot of the time, however the meltdowns can be paralizing for them and such a contrast to their calm and quiet periods. It's always a shock for others to witness if they don't realize they have ASD. As they get older these meldowns can be percieved as less acceptable socially, so coping startegies are important

    Having people tell you they don't believe they have ASD is not helpful to anyone and having meldowns which either manifest at School or home, but not in other environments is quite common.

    Is your son statemented? I know when my son went to his specialist school he had a taxi provided by the LEA, this took a great deal of strain off us having to deliver children to various detinations especially when I had one college, some at Secondary and one at Primary. 

    Exclusion from various events is another common issue when a child has been identified as having an 'issue' by a School. This demoralizes children and isolates them emotionally. My son felt very angry at being excluded from various School events which were going on whislt he was in Primary School. This does not foster an ethos of inclusivity and is really very damaging i find.

    It's probable if your son has sensory issues, which many do, that the School environment can be sensory overload for him. A trained TA would be able to offer time out or a separate calming environment to chill. At Secondary my son was allowed to go to a chillout room to decompress. Once he was sufficiently calm he'd return to the environment and carry on. Have you asked about time-out to defuse any overload?

    Separate sensory stimulus is another way to defuse anxiety amd meltsowns. One of my boys used bluetack in his pockets to squeeze. It was not obvious to others so he didn't stand out to his peers. Only recently have we replaced this with Mohdoh, but that is as much about reducing his migraines as it is about his sensory needs. (trial.) Could your son use something like this in School? just a thought. They have a calming one also.

    www.ebay.co.uk/.../161235219284

    My other son used stimming to drown out the extrenuous stimili. (hand flapping, rocking, knee bouncing, noises etc) Most find ways to indicate their stress, but if the support struggles to read the signs chaos can ensue. It sound like the staff at his School could do with some Autism awareness training. Do get some advice with regard to the exclusions. It's not right. My heart goes out to you and yours.

    Coogybear

    XX

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