• Replies 16 replies
  • Subscribers 72 subscribers
  • Views 2644 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

14 year old boy - High IQ. Bored with everything, including education.

Rico

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone has a similar experience to us?

Our 14 year old son struggles to see the value in education.  He's uninterested in school or online studying.

He wasn't bullied at school.  He was always well behaved.  He has no friends and no interest in charging his phone.  He doesn't want to be like his peers who he says have been brainwashed with social media. 

He is different.  I've always believed that is a good thing.  If everyone was the same, the world would certainly be very boring.  However, I'm struggling to help him understand that he still needs to find a way to interact with others

He says that everything is boring and doesn't care about anything.  He's capable to perform well in exams but chooses not to take part.

Mum is absolutely distressed.  In turn this distresses me as I work offshore for long periods. Mum can't cope. She can only envisage a bleak future for our son and herself. 

We need support for her to allow me to go back to work.

Our son will not leave the house for any reason and refuses to talk to anyone.  He is uninterested to visit his Granny in England.

We have been advised to put boundaries in place to try and encourage him to accept education.  This only leads to conflict that seems to amuse our son but stresses us beyond belief.

Parents

  • Autistic kids often don't get on well with 'normies.' If there are no weirdos in the class / school to gravitate together then the only hope for a social life might be outside school. And if he's not enthusiastic about that then try tying it to his special interest.

    There is a paradox. Parents of autistic kids think "oh my kid is bad at social stuff so I won't expose him to social situations." It's actually the worst aproch to take. Arguably the way to overcome social dificulties is to play a numbers game where you expose them to lots of difrent social settings till they find a group that's far enough outside of the social norm for them to click with.

    Also someone who belives themseves to be that difrent must have things they are interested in that others aren't. What I'm saying is he must have a special interest. That's the only real lever you have to get them interested in education. So pull it shamelessly. If hes a sci fi fan? Ok then we're going to talk about the theory blackholes with refrence to sci fi films.

    Are they a car nut? Then it's time for a lession on the mecancial engenering of the internal compustion engeon. etc.

  • in reply to Peter

    Thanks Peter,

    He was interested in science for a while.  Probably still is.  Quantum physics!  Not something they learn at school.

    I'm trying to encourage him to get his GCSEs done quickly so he can move on to potentially more interesting stuff. 

    Seems autistic burnout may have stopped play for now though.  (Apparently there's a possibility he may just be mentally ill, or both - we're waiting on feedback from the GP on this)

    I absolutely encourage him to experience different social settings but he refuses to try any clubs in or out of school. 

Reply
  • in reply to Peter

    Thanks Peter,

    He was interested in science for a while.  Probably still is.  Quantum physics!  Not something they learn at school.

    I'm trying to encourage him to get his GCSEs done quickly so he can move on to potentially more interesting stuff. 

    Seems autistic burnout may have stopped play for now though.  (Apparently there's a possibility he may just be mentally ill, or both - we're waiting on feedback from the GP on this)

    I absolutely encourage him to experience different social settings but he refuses to try any clubs in or out of school. 

Children
  • in reply to Rico
    Rico said:

    He was interested in science for a while.  Probably still is.  Quantum physics!  Not something they learn at school.

    I'm trying to encourage him to get his GCSEs done quickly so he can move on to potentially more interesting stuff. 

    No. I know a lot of schools hate the idea of kids studing ahead or studying outside the curiculum. But for smart kids, esspecially autistic smart kids, that's not an option. You'll probably need to feed him non school aproved educational material just to keep him engaged with school.

    Rico said:
    I absolutely encourage him to experience different social settings but he refuses to try any clubs in or out of school. 

    I mean I'm guessing none of those clubs interested him. You should use something he's interested in as a hook. Then if they share an interest with other club memember it's much easier to make friends.

    What you may find is if you ask the question 'what is he interested in?' instead of 'what clubs are at school / near us?' you may find something he's up for. The cost is it may be further away. In the next city over maybe, or for older kids. Something like that.