SUPPORT AT SCHOOL- MASKING

Hi. Unfortunately what you said sounds familiar. I am not sure how old your son is. We started the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis when my son was in Primary. It took a long time to get on the list because of masking in school, so like your experience they said they did not see it. He did finally get a diagnosis and we decided in the meantime to apply for an EHCP. We got the EHCP just before he started Secondary and autism diagnosis in year 7.

I presume you are keeping a note of meetings etc. As they tend not to put things in writing it might help to email them details of what is discussed so you have a record. The thing we found helpful in the end were keeping a diary of what happened at home, particularly after days at school, because this showed the impact of the masking. We used some of this evidence on the appeal in regard to the EHCP. 

You mention your meeting with the SENCO was deflating. I can say I went through a lot of meetings like that. It is so hard when you are trying to help.

In respect of your son's mental health. I am not sure how Right to Choose works, as we went via a referral to CAMHS. When the mental health issues got worse we were able to contact them and explain, which resulted in a slightly quicker assessment for autism. I am not sure if you can do this via your GP.

The other thing I would recommend is to see if there are any local parent organisations in your area who offer support. They will usually do this before diagnosis. We found it very helpful to talk to others who had gone through this experience. This helped us with the EHCP too and SENDIAS may also be able to advise on this or recommend other help.

Your son has a great advocate for him and it is sad that it is such a battle to get schools to understand. I wish you well and hope you are able to get somewhere and possibly find an advocate locally to support you in getting there.

Hi. Unfortunately what you said sounds familiar. I am not sure how old your son is. We started the process of trying to get an autism diagnosis when my son was in Primary. It took a long time to get on the list because of masking in school, so like your experience they said they did not see it. He did finally get a diagnosis and we decided in the meantime to apply for an EHCP. We got the EHCP just before he started Secondary and autism diagnosis in year 7.

I presume you are keeping a note of meetings etc. As they tend not to put things in writing it might help to email them details of what is discussed so you have a record. The thing we found helpful in the end were keeping a diary of what happened at home, particularly after days at school, because this showed the impact of the masking. We used some of this evidence on the appeal in regard to the EHCP. 

You mention your meeting with the SENCO was deflating. I can say I went through a lot of meetings like that. It is so hard when you are trying to help.

In respect of your son's mental health. I am not sure how Right to Choose works, as we went via a referral to CAMHS. When the mental health issues got worse we were able to contact them and explain, which resulted in a slightly quicker assessment for autism. I am not sure if you can do this via your GP.

The other thing I would recommend is to see if there are any local parent organisations in your area who offer support. They will usually do this before diagnosis. We found it very helpful to talk to others who had gone through this experience. This helped us with the EHCP too and SENDIAS may also be able to advise on this or recommend other help.

Your son has a great advocate for him and it is sad that it is such a battle to get schools to understand. I wish you well and hope you are able to get somewhere and possibly find an advocate locally to support you in getting there.

Thanks for your reply. I'm definitely feeling better from these responses. 

That's a good thought about contacting them in advance and possibly through the gp. I'm going to look into that. 

There is a lack of a 'pathway'for high masking, fear of being perceived autistic children.  There must be a way to offer better support for these children. I'm just so keen not to repeat my school and life experience all because I didn't know who I was. 

Thanks for saying so. I often feel I'm not advocating enough. Or not saying the 'right things' and I'm a stickler for following a plan. Sooo they aren't going to like me as I have no issue holding tre feet to the fire. But I don't need them to like me.