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Son with high functioning autism

QVX91977

Hi.  Being a parent of a child with high functioning autism is not easy and I have found this forum, in the hope to hear from others with similar experiences and how they manage to cope.

My son is 18years old and although not officially diagnosed with autism, did have a private review done a little while back advising he was more than likely, a high function autistic and his behaviours, all seem to match those associated with such a condition.

One such behaviour that we as parents find extremely hard to understand is where you try and speak with your child about how they need to do something, only for them to get very agitated by the remark and get snappy and loud.  For example, my wife takes my son to the station so he can attend college but must leave the house on time in order for her to be able to get back to work and attend meetings.  I tried to explain this to him, but you always get deflection for example, "I was up on time" and "I was ready" when we full well know, he was told multiple times to get up and get ready to leave.  They dont account for any blame.  Is this normal?  This is just one scenario where we struggle.  

Other things like, he will always say he loves us constantly however, gets very defensive when we try and instruct him on things he is doing wrong.  His moods will sing in an instant from happy to moody to closed off to happy.

Anyway.  I thought I would post here on the hope, we are not alone in dealing with the behaviours of autistic children.  Its so trying at times.

Parents

  • Perhaps displaying a timetable of the days events and times so that your child can see visually. They are very in the moment and so time can often not mean that much. If he has a routine in the mornings even if you are running late will not matter if they need to do things in the same order and in the same way each day. It needs to be predictable for them. 
    Perhaps you could time them how long it takes on average to go from waking to getting out of the door, allow some contingency time and then you might have an idea on how long you need for the mornings routine.

    It is tough but we have adopted a good routine and communication. A very mindful approach is what got us communicating well…. I am now on the waiting list for an assessment. Maybe I understood our son because I have some lived experience who knows.

    Best of luck 

Reply

  • Perhaps displaying a timetable of the days events and times so that your child can see visually. They are very in the moment and so time can often not mean that much. If he has a routine in the mornings even if you are running late will not matter if they need to do things in the same order and in the same way each day. It needs to be predictable for them. 
    Perhaps you could time them how long it takes on average to go from waking to getting out of the door, allow some contingency time and then you might have an idea on how long you need for the mornings routine.

    It is tough but we have adopted a good routine and communication. A very mindful approach is what got us communicating well…. I am now on the waiting list for an assessment. Maybe I understood our son because I have some lived experience who knows.

    Best of luck 

Children
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