Advice for parents of suicidal 19yo

Hi and welcome, and I'm sorry to hear about this.

It's difficult to advise without knowing more, and I'm just a woman on the spectrum with some personal experience of depression and knowing others who have suffered badly with it. So don't take anything I say as medical advice. But I would like to try to help.

There can be many reasons for depression and self hatred, including struggling with studies or the environment at school or college, having difficulties at work, not being able to find a job, losing a job, being bullied, losing a friend, not having friends, suffering a bereavement, or breaking up with a partner. 

In my case, although talking with someone I trust can provide some release from utter despair short term, in the long term it can make it worse going over and over things as our memories tend to be stronger and our minds less able to let go of traumatic events.

I have found that I sometimes need to make a change to my life to help me feel better. Here are some examples of things that someone could do to eliminate or reduce the stresses and overwhelm caused by things in their life:

Leave their college or university course, or their job

Move home

Stop having contact with people who are causing negative feelings

Stop using social media

I've done all of these during my lifetime (I'm in my sixties and retired now) After a period of rest to recover, it's good to then plan some positive changes (although it can be done beforehand if preferred). Some examples of changes that could be positive are:

Starting a new course of study using distance learning (to keep the mind active but not overloaded)

Setting up a schedule of enjoyable things to do, to give them things to look forward to

Getting out of the house at regular times to go for a walk in a place where they can enjoy nature

Making a list of their skills and abilities and planning a career path

Joining this forum and getting support - and hopefully feeling less alone.

I hope things improve soon.

Hi and welcome, and I'm sorry to hear about this.

It's difficult to advise without knowing more, and I'm just a woman on the spectrum with some personal experience of depression and knowing others who have suffered badly with it. So don't take anything I say as medical advice. But I would like to try to help.

There can be many reasons for depression and self hatred, including struggling with studies or the environment at school or college, having difficulties at work, not being able to find a job, losing a job, being bullied, losing a friend, not having friends, suffering a bereavement, or breaking up with a partner. 

In my case, although talking with someone I trust can provide some release from utter despair short term, in the long term it can make it worse going over and over things as our memories tend to be stronger and our minds less able to let go of traumatic events.

I have found that I sometimes need to make a change to my life to help me feel better. Here are some examples of things that someone could do to eliminate or reduce the stresses and overwhelm caused by things in their life:

Leave their college or university course, or their job

Move home

Stop having contact with people who are causing negative feelings

Stop using social media

I've done all of these during my lifetime (I'm in my sixties and retired now) After a period of rest to recover, it's good to then plan some positive changes (although it can be done beforehand if preferred). Some examples of changes that could be positive are:

Starting a new course of study using distance learning (to keep the mind active but not overloaded)

Setting up a schedule of enjoyable things to do, to give them things to look forward to

Getting out of the house at regular times to go for a walk in a place where they can enjoy nature

Making a list of their skills and abilities and planning a career path

Joining this forum and getting support - and hopefully feeling less alone.

I hope things improve soon.

Hello Pixiefox

Thankyou for taking the time to respond. I'll show all your suggestions to them. Ots just shard when it's been getting worse and worse for 12 years and there seems to be no glimmer of improvement. 

IlkleyCaroline