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Feeling down

Noodle

Hi everyone

yesterdqy I went to a Halloween social event with my friend many people there were neurodivergent, mainly autistic and adhd 

I tried my hardest to do the board games which I love, some new games but I found the social speaking side so hard, I felt like i was not asking enough or saying too much, my humour was hit and miss I felt like every time others spoke they all laughed and got on and I was sidelined. I just left and went home in a Uber 

im full of tears writing this, I really can’t face another social situation I prefer to be on my own with my interests and spending the time with my son 

does anyone else feel like this 

Parents

  • Actually just reading the words Halloween Social Event were enough to make my skin crawl, it dosen't matter whether the majority of people were ND or not, personally I would of run away screeming.

    I'm Ms Invisible too, I've come to realise we're quite a big clan, I'm fed up of feeling like my own ghost haunting my life, some see me, some don't, I've had coats and stuff thrown over me because people literally haven't seen me and when I start talking people's eyes glaze over and they wander off. I don't know why this happens, it's not like I'm saying anything contravercial, just my attempts at social chit chat, but why do they always see someone who simply must talk too and disapear? I've lost count of the number of social events where I've either ended up sat in a corner on my own, or talking the the cat, I always get on well with the cats, just not the humans, the cats see me and talk to me, just not the humans, is my unmasked face really feline, am I cat wearing a human mask?

    Needless to say I don't go to social events anymore, I don't very often get invited anyway, because people know I'll say thanks but no thanks.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I even went into costume and I never do that, I know what you mean by feeling invisible, I’m a observer I also go selectively mute, so I get no one initiated a conversation with means when I try I get fired down and that upsets and makes me withdraw even more 

    since being diagnosed it was the first social gathering I went too, I prefer ND people over NY because I have that little bit of comfort knowing if I stim and be myself I won’t get judged 

    I’ve also found out I’m allergic to dogs and my friend has one, I love animals more than humans if I’m honest. I know one day my tribe will be found 

    I have one really good friend and I’m grateful to her 

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  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I even went into costume and I never do that, I know what you mean by feeling invisible, I’m a observer I also go selectively mute, so I get no one initiated a conversation with means when I try I get fired down and that upsets and makes me withdraw even more 

    since being diagnosed it was the first social gathering I went too, I prefer ND people over NY because I have that little bit of comfort knowing if I stim and be myself I won’t get judged 

    I’ve also found out I’m allergic to dogs and my friend has one, I love animals more than humans if I’m honest. I know one day my tribe will be found 

    I have one really good friend and I’m grateful to her 

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