Feeling down

Always feel like this, almost every single day with work. No advice but you’re definitely not alone X

Mulling is what we do best

May be a much smaller group at the meal, and that will give you more people that you know better for the bigger group.

I even went into costume and I never do that, I know what you mean by feeling invisible, I’m a observer I also go selectively mute, so I get no one initiated a conversation with means when I try I get fired down and that upsets and makes me withdraw even more 

since being diagnosed it was the first social gathering I went too, I prefer ND people over NY because I have that little bit of comfort knowing if I stim and be myself I won’t get judged 

I’ve also found out I’m allergic to dogs and my friend has one, I love animals more than humans if I’m honest. I know one day my tribe will be found 

I have one really good friend and I’m grateful to her 

My friend just text me saying the people at the table we were on have been invited to her house for a meal and I’m invited too being her friend

so right now I’m thinking I’m comfortable at my friends house and around her so maybe a safe space and giving it another go in a quieter surrounding will be better

no doubt I will mull over it all week till the day comes but I will respond with a answer the next few days 

Actually just reading the words Halloween Social Event were enough to make my skin crawl, it dosen't matter whether the majority of people were ND or not, personally I would of run away screeming.

I'm Ms Invisible too, I've come to realise we're quite a big clan, I'm fed up of feeling like my own ghost haunting my life, some see me, some don't, I've had coats and stuff thrown over me because people literally haven't seen me and when I start talking people's eyes glaze over and they wander off. I don't know why this happens, it's not like I'm saying anything contravercial, just my attempts at social chit chat, but why do they always see someone who simply must talk too and disapear? I've lost count of the number of social events where I've either ended up sat in a corner on my own, or talking the the cat, I always get on well with the cats, just not the humans, the cats see me and talk to me, just not the humans, is my unmasked face really feline, am I cat wearing a human mask?

Needless to say I don't go to social events anymore, I don't very often get invited anyway, because people know I'll say thanks but no thanks.

That's cool. Everything has to be about how comfortable you are for you. I do think that you should try again, just in case. It is hard to break into a new group, but familiarity is one of the things that helps. Many of the things that I have been proud of myself the most is when I have pushed myself (or been *lightly* pushed by someone else). You don't really have anything to lose. 

the halloween night was a event put on by a organisor where majority of the community is ND, ive been to previous events and ive always found aquantainces and that then just never ever develops into friendships,

last night everyone there besides my friend were all new people, so that gave me initial anxiety then because im a observer and quiet i tried my hardest to break the ice and ask questions but it wasnt going nowhere, i just felt like everyone elese was getting on playimg a game called ransom notes and having fun.

when i spoke it was like no reaction, when others did it was laugher and chats. so i instntly felt left out, i felt like im not fitting into my community i dont want NT friedships so my firtst reaction was too run

right now i cant face a social setting, i have two more social events in november and im in two  minds weather to go, 

thanks for the invite to hive, right now i dont wish to play but maybe in a few weeks i will be more than happy to have a game with yourself 

I may be going against the grain here. I wonder if you should still stick with them, but still leave when it gets too much. This would be to familiarise all of you to you and each other. I go to a few groups and there are all levels of sociability. 

Ironically, I am the quiet one with neurotypicals but am more sociable with autistics (though just as tiring). I try my best to speak to everyone but not everyone is like me. I just wonder if it would work for you to get used to those people and for them to get used to you. Even if they aren't speaking to you now, they won't be judging you like an NT group would. You maybe projecting an NT mindset that isn't actually there.

Incidentally, I was taught a new game called Hive by a younger man the other day and need to get some practice games in before the next one. If you ever fancy playing a few games online then I am happy for you to connect to me (if you are comfortable). I've only played one game and have forgotten the rules already but would like to give it a go.