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Estranged ASD son

Meleys :)

Hello Everyone

This is my first time posting on this page . If you read my profile you will see a bit of the backstory of our estrangement . I am just wondering if there are any other parents out there in the same position as myself ?

I have so many regrets that I did not have the experience / knowledge of ASD to recognize that this is what my boy was struggling with . I am and have been feeling debilitating feelings of what I now know is grief as I have have lost my beautiful boy . How do parents in this situation actually come to terms with it all , or perhaps our situation is fairy unique ?

Thanks for reading 

Parents

  • Hi we are in a similar situation with our daughter. She left home age 17 just after a late diagnosis of autism. We have tried to reconnect  sent letters,birthday and Christmas presents. We haven't seen or spoken to her for over 2 and a half years.

    We pay for the phone but are blocked on all channels. My husband drove 6 hours and built up the courage to knock on her door for the first time, she glared at him didn't speak, just shut and locked the door behind him.

    We are so upset but ultimately it is her decision to reject us. She struggles with anxiety and depression and lives on DLA. We have a loving extended family and she chooses complete isolation.

    Our parenting wasn't the best . No excuses, but we didn't know she had autism and no idea of how to deal with her at the time. We never intended to cause her distress, but ended up ignoring the problems  and hoped things would improve . Like you I have huge regrets. I was juggling a full time job and my father's terminal illness and we didn't prioritise her complex needs.

    Can't say we have any idea about what to do either. I think she has the view that she is better off without us but her social isolation worries me. 

    We try to keep on going but feel sad about how our once loving daughter has chosen rejection and shut us out of her life.

  • in reply to Reddy

    Hello there, I'm so sorry that you are going through this as well, I too ignored some of my sons issues, hoped they would sort them self's out, it's a terrible loss, I have never experienced loss like it Disappointed

  • in reply to Meleys2

    Yes, absolutely heart breaking. Difficult to know what to do in moving forward. 

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