Estranged ASD son

Hi Meleys :),

Welcome to the community. You will discover kind and knowledgeable people here.

I want to validate your feelings and experience. What you are going through must be very difficult for you. As parents we love our children unconditionally and it is a great loss to be estranged from them. It is grief on a grand scale. I can understand why you feel regret but there is a limit to each of our abilities and hindsight may be wonderful in some instance but this is not one of them. In time, it may come to be useful.

From your post and your profile I get the sense you love your son very much. On any given day throughout his life, you did the best you could for him. You kept him safe,\; you looked after his physical and emotional needs. There are probably a lot of things about his life you don't know and no could you know.

I don't like giving advice but, in this case, because I know first-hand about the subject matter, I will offer you two pieces of advice. The first is to be kind to yourself. You were and are the best parent you could be. This is very important for you now and in your future relationship with your son. Secondly, if you can get a message to your son directly or via a third-party let him know you love him, you respect his decision and that he will always be welcome in your heart and home. Let him know you will always be there for him.

At your son's age I carried a lot of anger with me for various reasons and I don't think I was alone in that respect. He may, I stress may, be angry with something(s) and some people. His anger may be displaced. I don't know.

Sincerely, I wish you well in this difficult time. This is not your fault. Be kind to yourself.

I shall be thinking of both of you.

Hi Meleys :),

Welcome to the community. You will discover kind and knowledgeable people here.

I want to validate your feelings and experience. What you are going through must be very difficult for you. As parents we love our children unconditionally and it is a great loss to be estranged from them. It is grief on a grand scale. I can understand why you feel regret but there is a limit to each of our abilities and hindsight may be wonderful in some instance but this is not one of them. In time, it may come to be useful.

From your post and your profile I get the sense you love your son very much. On any given day throughout his life, you did the best you could for him. You kept him safe,\; you looked after his physical and emotional needs. There are probably a lot of things about his life you don't know and no could you know.

I don't like giving advice but, in this case, because I know first-hand about the subject matter, I will offer you two pieces of advice. The first is to be kind to yourself. You were and are the best parent you could be. This is very important for you now and in your future relationship with your son. Secondly, if you can get a message to your son directly or via a third-party let him know you love him, you respect his decision and that he will always be welcome in your heart and home. Let him know you will always be there for him.

At your son's age I carried a lot of anger with me for various reasons and I don't think I was alone in that respect. He may, I stress may, be angry with something(s) and some people. His anger may be displaced. I don't know.

Sincerely, I wish you well in this difficult time. This is not your fault. Be kind to yourself.

I shall be thinking of both of you.

Thank you so much for your comments and advice , he doesn't want me sending messages to anyone . I got warned to leave him alone at the last attempt . I have written letters and put them away with other keep sakes.

I believe he knows that we love him but he just doesn't care anymore , he lost all empathy and emotional connection to me . Its good to know there are people with words of support . I am trying to work out how i can enjoy my life with him gone and the fear of what may happen

Again thankyou for being so kind , its made me cry ... again